Into The Heart Of Darkness
By TBishop27@aol.com

Rated: NC17  See warning below.

Classifcation: S/MSR/Angst

Summary:  A serial killing becomes personal.

Disclaimer: This Mulder and Scully are mine, but if I ever do 
anything like this to them again, I'm not so sure they're going 
to play with me anymore. 

Feedback:  I'd love to know what you think.  But be 
warned...flames will be forwarded to that dark part of my 
writer's imagination that roams the night in search of victims.

Archive:  Anywhere.  Just let me know so I can visit.

WARNING:  THIS STORY CONTAINS MATURE SUBJECT MATTER.  IT DEALS 
WITH RAPE, GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, AND CONTAINS DISTURBING IMAGERY. 

Author's Note: This story is so different from anything I've ever 
written before.  Much longer, for one.  And it's dark... very 
dark, yet amazingly it's still a love story. Have I frightened 
you off yet?  Don't be afraid.  It looks like a casefile, but 
really it's a relationship piece.  Trust me.  Oh, and yes, it's 
certainly been done before, but not by me.

***Thanks to David, Shoshana and Shell for outstanding beta, 
encouragement and advice.  To Xenith, Mistress of Angst, for 
mentoring me in the ways of sadistic plot line development.  To 
Spygirl for insight and wisdom which gave me clarity and 
direction.  To Brigitte for her romantic musings. To Exley_61 for 
honesty and lending her critical eye.  And to Webmistress 
Grasshopper for keeping up the archive.  What a krewe it takes to 
sustain me through something like this.  Thank you all!!!
 



INTO THE HEART OF DARKNESS  


(Part 1)


Her nude mutilated body was found in the parking garage of the J. 
Edgar Hoover Building at 5:03 AM Saturday morning by a security 
guard who worked for the Bureau.  It was a particularly gruesome 
murder with evidence of torture and sexual assault.  Cause of 
death, undetermined, although preliminary findings indicate 
strangulation.

Fox Mulder stared in horror at the grisly scene before him.  His 
stomach twisted and threatened to rebel against him.  He couldn't 
believe it had ended this way for her.  The thought that in her 
final hours she was tortured, raped, and terrorized by some 
deranged sociopath, left him feeling sick and embittered.  He 
stepped closer to the frenzy of agents working the scene, the 
photographer flashing pictures of her body, the forensics team 
searching for evidence, the VCU boys taking statements from the 
security guard and the night gateman.  The DCPD had a few 
officers there as well, conducting their own investigation, 
making things even more chaotic.  And there were the onlookers, a 
small crowd of Bureau employees watching and talking amongst 
themselves, about the woman most of them knew of, or had worked 
with over the years.  

They were watching Mulder now as he approached her body, his face 
pale, his eyes moist.  He could almost hear their unspoken 
comments.  His feelings for her had been obvious to everyone at 
the Bureau.  Their relationship had caused problems both 
professionally and personally for him.  

Agent Travers of the VCU excused himself from the DC cop he was 
talking to and made his way over to Mulder.  "Hey, Spooky.  I'm 
sorry, man.  I know she was your partner... It can't be easy to 
see her like this."

"It's not."  His voice was hoarse and he struggled for each word.

"Look, if you don't want to be here, we can get someone else to 
profile this one."

"No.  I'll do it.  I owe her as much."

The other man nodded.  "Detective Carlson with DCPD believes we 
have a serial killer on our hands.   In the last eight weeks 
three other women have been murdered by what appears to be the 
same UNSUB.  Everyone of the victims were in law enforcement here 
in the DC area."

"Jesus!"  Mulder rubbed his eyes in frustration.  "A serial cop 
killer?  Is this the first we're hearing about it?"

Travers snorted.  "Carlson claims they don't need the Bureau's 
assistance on this one, but since one of our own is now a victim, 
he realizes we have jurisdiction and authority."

"Damn right!"  There was just no way in hell he was going to 
trust this case to the DC police.  "I want this one Marty.  I 
don't just want to profile.  I want to be SAC."

"Mulder, you were personally involved with the victim.  You're 
too close.  You know it's not a good idea."

"I don't give a fuck about the ethics of it!  I want the case!  I 
want to be the one who brings in the sick son of a bitch that did 
this to her!"

The two men stared at each other.  Before either one of them 
could say another word, Mulder's cell phone trilled cutting 
through the tension.  

"Mulder."  He answered as he moved to a less inhabited area of 
the garage.

"Mulder, it's me.  I woke up and you were gone."

"I'm sorry, Scully.  I got called in to work."

"On a Saturday morning?  What's up?"  And how come I'm not with 
you?  She didn't say it, but he could hear it in the tone of her 
voice.

"They need me to profile."

"What's wrong, Mulder?  What's happened?"

"Diana's dead.  She was murdered."  He sighed.  "It appears to be 
the work of a serial killer."

"Where are you?  I'm coming there."  There was no room for 
argument in her voice.

"I'm in the parking garage at the Hoover Building.  That's where 
they found her body.  Why don't you meet me in the autopsy lab.  
I'd like you to do this one, Scully."

"I'm on my way."

"Scully?"

"Yeah, Mulder?"

"Thanks."

"I'll be there soon."

He heard her hang up first, then he returned his phone to his 
jacket pocket and went back over to finish his conversation with 
Agent Travers.  There was no way he was going to let this one go. 
 Diana's motives may have been suspect in recent years, but they 
had been close once upon a time, and she'd continued to hold a 
special place in his heart.  He didn't love her anymore, maybe he 
never had, but they had been friends, and he would do this for 
his friend.

***************************************************

Mulder had meant to meet Scully in the autopsy lab before she 
began her work, but A.D. Skinner caught him as he stepped off the 
elevator and demanded to be filled in on Agent Fowley's murder.  
It took a bit of convincing and more than a little stubborn 
determination to get Skinner on his side about assigning the case 
to him.  But eventually he won the AD's promise to talk to the 
powers that be over in the VCU.  By the time Mulder made it to 
the labs, Scully was well into the autopsy.  At the sound of the 
door, she stopped her work and turned to meet him.

"Mulder.  Let me take care of this."

"I can handle it, Scully."  He took a few steps closer and he 
could see Diana's body laying in dissection on the steel table.  
The infamous Y incision splaying her open from collar bones to 
pubic bone.  For just a second he had to turn his face away, 
closing his eyes to steady himself.  Scully was at his side in an 
instant.

"Mulder?"  Her gloved hand touched his arm.

He tried again to look.  Diana.  Images of her flooded into his 
memory.  Images of another time when their lives had been so 
intermeshed that he had vowed to her his love and fidelity.  

Till death do us part.  

"She was my wife, Scully."  It was out of his mouth before he 
could stop himself.  Suddenly the terror of what he had just said 
and who he had said it to, replaced the horror of what lay on the 
table in front of him.  Panicked, his eyes shot to Scully.  A 
hundred different emotions seemed to be swimming in her eyes, 
shock, betrayal, fear, anger, sadness, disbelief, and so much 
hurt.  "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."


Even in death Diana Fowley had found a way to hurt her, to come 
between her and Mulder.  It was as if that woman was her own 
personal hound from hell sent to torment her and ruin her life.  
Diana and Mulder had been married?  Mulder had been that sure of 
her?  He'd loved Diana that much that he wanted to make a 
commitment?  

We'll this was just too fucking much!  For Godsake, it had taken 
him seven years to admit he wanted her as more than just a 
friend.  And even after they had consummated their relationship, 
Mulder's only commitment to her had been a toothbrush he kept in 
her bathroom.  That certainly puts things in perspective, she 
mused.  

Not that she had expected Mulder ever to marry her, but that was 
just because she didn't think he was the type to want marriage.  
Now she knew the truth, ugly as it was, he just didn't want to 
marry HER.  She forced the pain into that dark corner deep inside 
her where she could hide it best from him and the rest of the 
world.  

She was a professional.  She had a job to do.  Turning back to 
her task, she willed herself not to show any reaction to Mulder's 
revelation.  And she scolded herself for enjoying this autopsy 
perhaps a little too much.


"Scully..."

"Mulder, I've got work to do."  She cut him off sharply.  "This 
will go a lot faster if I don't have any interruptions."

He nodded, although she had her back to him and couldn't see it. 
 She was right.  They both had jobs to do.  And besides, they'd 
promised each other to keep their personal lives separate from 
their professional ones.  They could talk about this later.  He 
hurried, maybe just a bit too eagerly, out the door and headed 
for the basement.


XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


When Mulder was profiling, everything else faded out of his life. 
 He became completely absorbed in the dark and disturbed mind of 
the killer.  That's why he was the best.  And that's why he'd 
given it up.  He hated delving into the heart of darkness to find 
the clues that would lead him to the killer.  It was too close to 
being the evil itself.  Each and every case he had profiled 
brought him one step closer to that edge.  He had to be careful 
this time.  He was already emotionally involved, and that made it 
all the easier to get lost along the way.

As he looked through the case files DCPD had sent over on the 
other victims, he noted the obvious first.  All the victims were 
women.  All of them in law enforcement, two cops, a US Marshal 
and an FBI agent.  The victims ranged in age from 24 to 45.  They 
shared no notable similar physical attributes.  It was obvious 
the killer had chosen them because of their line of work.  The 
condition the bodies were found in suggested rage on the part of 
the killer, a hatred of women in positions of authority.  The 
fact that all the bodies had been left in plain sight, nude, and 
mutilated in one fashion or another, suggested the killer felt 
contempt for his victims.

The first three had been tortured and raped before being 
strangled to death, and he suspected this would be the case with 
Diana as well.  These crimes were perpetrated by someone 
intelligent and careful.  He had managed to abduct four well 
trained, armed and physically fit women.  These were not your 
typical helpless victims.  And though he didn't know how long 
Diana had been missing before her body had been found, the other 
victims had been missing for up to forty-eight hours.  No one had 
witnessed the bodies being dumped off. The killer had even 
managed to elude the security cams in the Bureau's parking 
garage.  They'd been checked first, the tapes would be reviewed 
several times, but so far it looked like a dead end.

It was the lack of evidence that afforded him the best insights 
into this UNSUB.  From the condition of the bodies and who the 
victims were as well as the way they were left to be found, he 
was able to categorize this killer into a typical subject type.

So the level of sophistication here implied a higher than average 
IQ, probably college educated, maybe with military or law 
enforcement background.  Twenty-five to forty years of age.  Not 
someone sucessful though; he's smart, but too full of himself to 
be willing to play the game.  Your basic egomaniac.  

Mulder looked over the photos of the victims, tacking each one up 
in turn on the wall in his office.  A gruesome display.  And 
particularly hard to look upon as Diana's face stared back at 
him.  The brutality of these crimes, the aggressive nature... it 
told him many things about the man they were looking for.

He wants to dominate and control his victims, that's why he ties 
them up, that's why he tortures them.  Probably gets off on 
hearing them scream and beg.  It's about power over authority 
with him.  The guy's probably into porn, the violent shit that 
all the freaks get turned on by.  

This has been a long time brewing, but something recently 
triggered him to start acting out his fantasies.  Rejection from 
a girlfriend.  Lost his job.  Maybe the death of someone close to 
him.  

Pacing around the office, lost deep in though, Mulder considered 
the typical serial killer profile.  He's average looking, doesn't 
stand out, keeps up his appearance, anti-social, easily provoked. 
 Has a history of violent behavior going back to his childhood.  
As a kid he was a loner.  Likely an abused child.  He felt 
powerless at home, so he learned to manipulate and control others 
to gain power over them. 

He returned to his desk and looked over the autopsy results from 
the first three victims one more time.  This was one angry son of 
a bitch. 

Mulder set down the files, took off his glasses and rubbed his 
tired eyes.  It was only 10:00 AM and already he felt as though 
he'd put in a full day.  Saturday, he reminded himself.  Hell of 
a fucking day off.  He and Scully were supposed to be on their 
way to the beach right now.  There wouldn't be any more days off 
until this one was solved.  

A multiagency task force had been set up with Mulder as SAC for 
the Bureau.  Detective Carlson was running things for the DCPD.  
And the US Marshal's Office had a pair of special deputies on the 
case.  It was going to be a hell of an assignment with all those 
egos bumping into one another.  

The first thing they needed to do was send an alert bulletin to 
all area law enforcement agencies and security companies, warning 
them of the potential threat to female employees.  

As he jotted down notes for the alert bulletin, Scully walked in 
with her autopsy report and set it on the desk in front of him.  

"Cause of death, strangulation.  Time of death was approximately 
2:00 this morning.  The victim..."  She hesitated just briefly, 
gauging his reaction before she went on.  "She was apparently 
tied up with some sort or cord or rope, tortured with what 
appears to be a current emitting device, like a stun gun or prod, 
beaten, sexually assaulted, strangled, then stabbed 24 times with 
a large blade, likely a hunting knife.  Both hands were amputated 
at the wrists.  We found no finger prints on the body, but we are 
doing a DNA analysis of the semen."

Mulder paled but his face remained neutral.  "He stabbed her 
after she was dead?"

"Yeah.  The wounds occurred after the heart had stopped."

Mulder winced.  "I hate this shit, Scully.  That's why I left the 
Behavioral Science Unit.  I don't want to get inside this twisted 
fuck's head.  I don't want to know why he did those things to 
Diana and the other women.  I just want to catch him and let them 
lock him away for the rest of his God damn life."

She didn't seem to hear his comments to her.  "Unless you have 
more work for me, I'm going to head home now, Mulder."  She was 
halfway to the door before he could stop her.

"Scully.  Wait."

She stopped and turned back, her face an unreadable mask.

"I want to go over to the Watergate and check out Diana's 
apartment.  I don't want to do it alone.  Would you mind coming 
with me?"

Why not?  This day just gets better and better.  As much as she 
wanted to go home and lick her wounds, and maybe brood a little, 
she was Mulder's partner and couldn't refuse him his request.  
"All right, Mulder.  But let's take separate cars.  I'd really 
like to get home and take a shower. And I know you, one thing 
leads to another and you'll be out all day and half the night 
before you finally head home."

"Actually, you're right.  I've got a multiagency task force 
meeting at 1:00 and then..."

"Spare me the details."  She put up a hand to ward off any 
further comments.  "Let's just get going."

He stood up and gathered all the files together into a pile.  
Then he stuffed the pile into a well worn attache to take along. 
 "Right behind you, Scully."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Being in Diana Fowley's apartment made her irritable.  It smelled 
of the other woman and Scully had grown to hate that smell.  
Chanel No. 5, wasn't it?  One of those perfume ladies at the mall 
had attempted to spray it on her once, and it took every ounce of 
self-restraint Scully had not to pull out her gun and terrorize 
the woman a bit.  She'd rather reek of formalin than eau de 
Fowley.  This was the woman that Mulder had loved first, and 
best, and probably still did.  When it came to Mulder's 
affections, she couldn't compete with Fowley then or now.  She 
saw the way Mulder looked at things in her apartment.  He was 
remembering her...them.  There were pictures of the two of them 
together placed on Diana's desk in the study and on the night 
stand by her bed.

Looking closely at one of the photos, Scully could see the 
wedding band on Mulder's finger.  It was true.  He had been 
Diana's husband.  It made her sick to think about it.  She felt 
her emotions starting to bubble to the surface, so she stepped 
out onto the balcony to get some fresh air. 

Maybe she could have handled this better if Mulder didn't seem to 
still care about Diana.  He'd made it clear to her over the years 
that given the choice, he'd choose to believe in Diana over her 
every time.  For the life of her, Scully couldn't understand why. 
 It was obvious that Fowley had her own secret agenda and she 
wasn't opposed to using Mulder in her pursuit of it.  It had 
always bothered her that, after everything they'd been through 
together, she apparently had not completely earned Mulder's 
trust.  Even now that they were personally involved, she knew the 
line for her was drawn when it came to challenging Mulder's 
ex-wife.   

"Scully, you all right?"  

She startled out of her reverie.  "I'm fine."

He reached out and brushed a tear off her cheek.  "Why are you 
crying?"

She hadn't even realized she was.  Damn it!  "It's nothing."

"It's not nothing!  You don't cry over 'nothing,' Scully.  What's 
wrong?"

"I'm sorry, Mulder.  I'm sorry about Diana.  I know how much she 
meant to you.  I know I've expressed certain reservations about 
her in the past, but those were just my own suspicions... and as 
you said, probably driven by personal prejudice.  I'm sorry 
things didn't work out between the two of you.  And I'm sorry 
that she's gone now.  I'm sorry for ever questioning her motives. 
 I'm sure she loved you very much.  If I could trade places with 
her right now for you I would."

"God, Scully!  Don't say that!  Don't even think that!"  He 
pulled her into his arms, clutching her protectively against his 
chest.  "I wouldn't know what to do without you."

"But you loved her, Mulder."

"I thought I did.  Once.  A long time ago."

"You married her."

"It was a mistake, Scully.  A painful, regrettable mistake."

There was an uncomfortable moment of silence between them.  

"Well, you have a lot of work to do.  And a meeting in less than 
an hour.  We don't have time to be dealing with personal issues." 
 She forced a smile when she looked up at him.

Another of the infamous emotional ditches.  This time it was 
Scully that was running for cover, but he was all too willing to 
let her go at this point.  He didn't want to stir things up any 
more than they already were.  She was right about there not being 
time.  He still wanted to check out Diana's car before he 
returned to the Bureau.  "We'll talk later?"

Scully nodded.  "Mulder, I'm going to go home now, if you don't 
have any objections?"

He reluctantly released her from his arms.  "All right.  I don't 
know how late I'm going to be.  I'll call you, okay?"  Deep down 
he knew they needed to talk, that this probably shouldn't wait.  
But he was too distracted right now by the case and profiling the 
UNSUB; and, if he was honest with himself, he welcomed the 
distraction.  So he just let her go.  

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


He liked to follow the investigations.  To watch.  So many 
hunting for the one.  But they would never catch him.  The game 
didn't hold enough challenge.  The bitches were too easy to 
catch.  A few days surveillance and he knew just when to make his 
move.  The hunt might have been lacking, but the kill was always 
satisfying.  He took his time with them.  Enjoying every hour of 
their torture.  Making them afraid.  Sating himself while they 
begged for their lives.  They thought they were so strong and 
powerful with their guns and badges.  They were nothing more than 
whores like all the rest.  He showed them that.  He treated them 
the way they deserved to be treated.  And they died because he 
said they died... they all had to die.

He missed carrying a badge.  It had been five years now.  Five 
miserable fucking years!  He'd been a damn fine cop... until she 
came along... the bitch!  She ruined his life.  A whore, fucking 
her way to the top.  She couldn't be bothered with him.  He 
wasn't important enough by her standards.  He was just her God 
damn partner.

She only spread her legs for the men who could help her career 
along.  She wanted to make detective and then captain... moving 
up the food chain as quickly as possible.  Trouble was, she was 
incredibly hot, and he found himself desperate to get a piece for 
himself.  She constantly rejected him.  Even laughed at his 
repeated attempts to seduce her.  Until one night... she didn't 
say no.  She let him fuck her right in the back seat of their 
patrol car.  The next day he found himself charged with rape.  
She'd set him up.  The whore had cost him his job and his 
marriage... and he'd eventually gone bankrupt and lost 
everything.  That's what these bitches were all about.  Every 
last one of them.  Fuck them all!  

He'd planned to wait a few days.  To live off the high of that 
last one.  Take his time.  Watch the detectives stumble over 
themselves as they looked for witnesses and clues that didn't 
exist.  But a visit to the FBI bitch's fancy Watergate apartment 
house had provided him with another tempting and all too easy 
target.

He'd already marked her, another FBI agent.  She had shown her 
badge to the security man she questioned in the lobby of the 
Watergate.  A tiny thing.  So different from the last one.  
Different but the same.  They were all really the same.  They all 
thought they were so important carrying those badges and guns.  
But he knew the truth.  He knew what they were.  They didn't 
deserve respect.  They had no right to carry those badges.  They 
were whores.  Every one of them the same.  

They all screamed.  They all cried.  They all begged for mercy.  
They all died...

She would die.  

He waited and followed her car, expecting to have to tail her for 
most of the day.  But as luck would have it, she went home.  Now 
he knew where she lived.  He would watch her.  He would start the 
game again.  A smile crept across his face.  Soon he would enjoy 
her too.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

End of Part 1

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was nine o'clock Sunday morning.  Mulder hadn't made it by the 
night before, nor had he called as he said he would.  Normally, 
she would have shrugged it off.  Mulder, after all, was Mulder, 
and she had come to expect these things.  He would eventually get 
around to remembering her and call to let her know he was okay.  

It was harder now that they were involved.  Before, if she was 
worried, she'd just track him down and reassure herself.  But 
now...things were different.  She was more than just his partner, 
they were lovers, and that meant she had to be careful not to 
step on his toes.  When your partner tracked you down, she was 
just looking out for you.   When your girlfriend tracked you 
down, she was smothering you.  

That's why the Bureau frowned on fraternization.  The 
relationships got in the way of the partnerships.  For her part, 
Scully had tried to find a way around this dilemma.  She would 
try to keep track of Mulder without him knowing that's what she 
was doing.  It was a damn pain in the ass, is what it was, but it 
couldn't be helped.  A little investigative phone calling to some 
unsuspecting spys and Scully soon discovered that Mulder had 
spent the night at the Bureau working on his profile.  

It would have been so much easier just to dial his damn cell 
phone.  But she couldn't.  Especially not after what she'd 
learned yesterday.  Suddenly her place in Mulder's life seemed 
very tentative.  It made her see his thoughtlessness in a whole 
new light.  It was for the best, she told herself.  Better to be 
in a relationship with your eyes wide open, then to discover the 
truth much later and have your heart broken in the process. 

She fixed herself some coffee, and had just sat down at the 
kitchen table to read the Sunday paper when the phone rang.  
"Figures."  She sighed and contemplated letting her machine pick 
up.  Mulder would assume she'd gone to church, leave some 
apologetic message and the whole thing would be done with.  She 
caught it on the third ring, just before her machine picked up.

"Hello?"

"Dana Scully?" said a man's voice she didn't recognize.

"Yes.  Who's this?"  She frowned.

"Do you know what I'm going to do to you?"

She felt suddenly cold.  "Who the hell is this?" she demanded.

The line went dead.

A little unnerved, but mostly pissed off, Scully decided to 
ignore it.  Prank phone callers were usually cowards anyway.  She 
doubted there was any real threat.  She went back to her paper 
and coffee.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He'd worked through the night on the UNSUB's monograph trying to 
piece together every scrap of evidence he could find to create a 
profile that would lead him to Diana's killer.  This guy was a 
stalker.  He was sure of that.  It was just a given considering 
the victims he chose.  These weren't random snatchings. They were 
selected, and most likely observed by the killer, looking for key 
moments of vulnerability. 

The way the women were terrorized prior to their deaths showed 
that he liked to instill fear in his victims.  He liked them 
afraid.  It fed his power.  He was bold, aggressive, maybe even 
initiated some sort of contact with the victims before abducting 
them.  Something to frighten them.  A phone call, a note.  
Whatever he could use to instill fear in them.  No threatening 
notes or letters had been found in any of the victims' homes or 
offices.  Maybe a review of all incoming calls that the victims 
had received in the days prior to their abductions would turn up 
something.  

They'd have to be sure and check cell phones too, he mentally 
noted.

Cell phones....phones...phone calls...call Scully...

"Shit!"  He checked his watch.  12:57 pm.  "Damn it!"  Scully was 
going to be none too happy with him.  No sense putting off the 
inevitable.  He reached for his desk phone and dialed her home 
number.  

"This is Dana Scully.  I can't come to the phone right now.  
Leave a message and I'll get back to you."  Then the familiar 
beeeeeep.

"It's me, Scully.  Pick up."  When she didn't, he hung up and 
tried her cell phone instead.

She answered on the first ring.  "Scully."

"Hey, it's me."  Mulder braced himself for a blast of Irish 
temper. "I got busy working on the damn monograph and forgot all 
about calling you.  I'm sorry."

"It's okay.  I kind of figured that's what happened."

"You're not mad?"

"Should I be?"

"For this and so many other things, Scully."

"You're forgiven as always, Mulder."

We'll that was easier than he thought it would be.  "So, where 
are you?"

"Having a picnic lunch at the park near my house."

"A picnic alone?"

"Yes.  It was such a nice day I decided to treat myself."

"Do you have your weapon with you?"

There was a noticeable pause.  "Ah... yeah."

She was lying.  "Do me a favor, Scully.  Go pick up your mom and 
the two of you catch a movie, do a little shopping, have 
dinner...my treat."

"Is this Fox Mulder?"

"Cute, Scully.  I'm making a very generous and very serious offer 
here."

"I don't need a babysitter, Mulder.  I can look after myself just 
fine."

"I know you can."  He sighed.  "Just be careful, okay?"

"Always."

"I'll call you later.  I promise."

"Mulder?"

"Yeah?"

"No promises."  

And then she hung up.  He played back the entire phone 
conversation in his head to try and make some sense of it.  Let's 
see... He's an inconsiderate ass and forgets to call her when he 
says he will and she's fine with that.  She's spending a Sunday 
picnicking all alone, when he had promised her a romantic weekend 
for two at the beach, and she doesn't seem to mind.  She lies to 
him about having her gun with her, most likely to keep him from 
worrying about her.  She refuses to take advantage of a very rare 
opportunity to do some serious financial damage on his American 
Express account.  And she didn't want him feeling any sense of 
obligation towards her.  In the language of women, Mulder knew 
from experience that meant big trouble.  The more they covered 
their feelings, the more they were hurting.  

Scully was hurting right now and he was to blame for it, so it 
only stood to reason that he should make things right again.  But 
how?  He had betrayed Scully's trust by keeping his marriage to 
Diana a secret all these years.  And blurting it out when he did 
must have come as quite a shock to her. And finally there was the 
issue of their relationship.  It hadn't even been a month since 
they'd made the decision to violate the Bureau's fraternization 
standards.  They were still getting comfortable with their new 
roles. 

He wasn't sure what was the right thing to do at this point.  He 
knew they needed to talk though... and soon.  Trouble was, he 
wasn't sure their new and fragile relationship could take it.  He 
was terrified of losing her.  He'd already made too many 
mistakes.  It was so much easier to avoid the issues, hide in his 
work, save that fateful confrontation for another day.  

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Damn it!  The phone was ringing.  Scully struggled with the lock, 
stubbornly refusing to put down the shopping bags she clutched in 
each fist.  She raced inside just in time to catch the call 
before the machine picked up.

"Hello?"  She plopped her keys on the table and dropped her 
packages to the floor.

"Just getting home, Dana?"

Jesus!  It was him again.  "Look, mister.  You happen to be 
harassing an agent of the Federal Bureau of Investigation."

"I know exactly who you are, Special Agent Dana Scully.  Was that 
your mom today?"

"Who the hell are you?"   

The caller hung up.  

"Shit!"  This asshole had actually been watching her.  Oh my 
God... what if he still is!  "Damn it!"  She realized in her 
hurry to get to the phone she had left the front door wide open. 
 Her gun!  She needed her gun, which was in her bedroom.  
Swallowing over the hard lump in her throat, she decided to lock 
the front door first.  She moved quickly to the door and secured 
it.  

Oh, Jesus, what if he's in her apartment!  Why oh why oh why 
didn't she listen to Mulder and take her gun with her today?  
Because it made her mom uncomfortable, that's why.  It reminded 
her mom what her daughter did for a living.  "Oh God!  Mom!"  She 
grabbed her cell phone out of her pocket and punched in her 
mother's speed dial number.  "Come on, come on, come on."  

"Hello?"

"Mom!"

"Dana?  Is everything all right?" 

Now what?  Should she tell her?  What choice did she have? "Mom, 
do you have all the doors and windows locked?"

"Yes, honey, why?"

"Um...I think someone may have been following us today."

"Who?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then what makes you think..?"

"I've been getting some strange phone calls, Mom.  I just 
received another one, and the caller knew I'd been out with you 
today.  Do you still have Dad's gun?"

"No, Dana.  I gave it to Billy.  Honey, are you in danger.  
Where's Fox?  Is he there with you?"

"Mom, I don't need Mulder to protect me.  I'm fine.  I'm more 
concerned about you.  I wish you'd kept the gun."

"I wouldn't know how to use it anyway."

"I could show you."

"Dana, you know how I feel about those things."

This was not the time to be having a debate on handguns.  "All 
right, Mom.  Just keep the phone nearby.  Stay away from the 
windows.  And don't answer the door for anyone.  If you suspect 
anything unusual, call the police immediately."

"Honey, the caller phoned you!  Where is Fox?"

"He's working, Mom."

"Aren't you supposed to be working with him?  You are his 
partner, Dana."

"It's a special assignment.  He's profiling a serial killer.  
Look, Mom, I really need to go now.  Remember to do what I said, 
okay?"

"All right, honey.  You be careful too."

"I will, Mom.  Bye."  

The conversation with her mother had calmed her down enough that 
she was able to retrieve her Sig from the bedroom without too 
much of a mental pep talk.  She felt a lot better having her 
weapon at her side.  Next she tried to call Mulder.  He would 
want to know about this.  He'd probably overreact... no, not 
probably, he'd definitely overreact, but she couldn't keep this 
from him.  

But she couldn't reach him.  He wasn't answering the office phone 
and his cell phone number only gave her his voicemail.  She left 
a message for him to call her.

Even though she was waiting for Mulder's call, she jumped anyway 
when the phone rang.  Her heart was racing as she moved off the 
couch to answer it.  She licked her lips and braced herself in 
case it was her stalker again.

"Hello?"

"Scully, it's me."

Relief.  She settled back down on the couch with the phone 
pressed to her ear, letting the familiar sound of his voice calm 
her.  "There's something I need to talk to you about, Mulder."

"I finally finished the monograph.  I just got home.  I'm really 
tired, Scully.  Can it wait until tomorrow?"

She considered it and figured it would be better to tell him in 
the morning, after he'd had time to recover from his marathon 
profiling session.  "Sure, Mulder, fine, it can wait, I suppose. 
 You sound exhausted.  Why don't you get some sleep."

"Yeah.  I'm thinking that would be a good idea."

"I'll see you in the morning?"

He yawned.  "Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.  Good night, Scully."

"Night."  She hung up and told herself she did the right thing in 
keeping the phone calls from him until tomorrow.  He needed his 
rest and he wouldn't get any sleep tonight if she'd told him 
there was some nutcase stalking her.

She shivered.  It was starting to concern her that this might be 
connected with the case Mulder was working on.  What a lovely 
thought to sleep on.  

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dana awoke the next morning to the grating buzz of her alarm 
clock.  Her hand reached out blindly to slap the annoyance away. 
 She yawned and stretched before finally forcing her eyes open to 
take on the morning sunlight that was streaming in through her 
bedroom window.  Her mind told her 'Monday.'  Time to get ready 
for work.  She sat up.  Then her heart nearly leapt from her 
chest, and she drew in a sudden gasp.  

On the night stand beside the table lamp, clock radio, telephone 
and her Sig Sauer was an eight-inch hunting knife.  Someone had 
been in her bedroom while she was sleeping.  Someone had been 
close enough to kill her.  Grabbing her gun up and aiming it 
around the room, her eyes searched for any sign of the intruder. 
 

She nearly screamed when she heard the sound of footsteps in her 
living room.  They were coming closer.  Keeping her weapon 
trained on her wide open bedroom doorway, she listened to the 
heavy footsteps approaching.  And waited.  Ready.

"Take one more step and I'll put a bullet in you!" she screamed 
at the dark figure who entered her room.

"Jesus!  Scully, it's me!"  Mulder stood frozen, his partner's 
gun trained on his head.

"Shit!" she breathed, and lowered the weapon to her lap.  "I'm 
sorry, Mulder."

He moved over and sat down on the edge of the bed beside her.  
"Hell of a way to greet your partner, Scully.  Especially when 
he's come to take you to breakfast."  He leaned over to kiss her, 
and it was then that he realized how badly she was shaking.  
"Scully, are you all right?"  

"I think so."  Her eyes once again took in the knife laying just 
inches from where she had been sleeping.  Mulder's gaze followed 
hers, and he frowned when he saw it.

"Where'd you get that?"

"It's not mine.  Someone put it there while I was asleep last 
night."  He wasn't going to be happy when he heard it, but she 
had to tell him now.  "Mulder, there's more.  I've been getting 
phone calls..."  By the time she had finished her story, Mulder 
was pacing around her bedroom.

"Christ, Scully!  Why didn't you tell me!"  He was furious.  

"At first I thought it was just a prank caller.  Later I couldn't 
reach you to tell you.  I left you a voice mail.  I tried to tell 
you last night, but you were so tired.  I figured it could wait 
until morning.  Besides, I'm perfectly capable of..."

"Don't give me that bull shit!  This is HIM!  You could be dead 
right now!  Damn it, Scully!  You don't keep something like this 
from me!"

She slipped out of bed and went over to him.  "I'm sorry.  You're 
right.  I should have told you immediately."

Her gentle apology calmed his anger.  Letting out a heavy sigh, 
he moved his hands from his hips to hers and pulled her close.  
Then he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tight to 
reassure himself that she was indeed safe.  "God, baby, I could 
have lost you."

"You really think it's the killer?"

"It fits.  The knife.  The phone calls.  He likes to frighten his 
victims."  

"Well, he's certainly done a good job of it."

"I want you and your mom to go to a safe house."

"Wait a minute.  Mom yes, I agree.  But I'm not going to hide 
away when I can be helping you catch this guy!"

"No way, Scully."

"Just listen.  He's targeted me.  It's only a matter of time 
before he comes back again.  Let's set a trap."

"No!  It's too dangerous.  Absolutely not, Scully."

"You know this is our best shot at him, Mulder!  I want to catch 
him before he kills again.  Don't let your feelings for me get in 
the way of this case."

The look on his face told her everything.

"Mulder, it's my job.  It's what I do.  You more than anyone 
should understand that.  We risk our lives every day in this 
business.  If we're going to have any hope of a future together, 
you're going to have to accept that."

"It's not easy, Scully."  It was woven into every fiber of his 
being to protect her.  How could she expect him to put aside his 
feelings for her when it came to their work?  He just couldn't 
function that way.

"Do you think it's easy for me?  I'm scared to death every day 
that I might lose you.  I worry when I'm not there to watch your 
back.  I have nightmares about getting that call...Agent Scully, 
your partner's been killed in the line of duty.  It's no 
different for me, Mulder.  It's something we just have to learn 
how to live with."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He wasn't sure how she ever got him to agree to this.  Come to 
think of it, he never actually did agree.  She'd simply put the 
plan into motion and he'd been too afraid of the wrath of Scully 
to put a stop to it.  Whenever he even looked like he might 
object to some part of her plan, she silenced him with a warning 
stare that he didn't dare challenge for fear of the consequences 
to their personal relationship.  So here they were.  He was 
getting ready to drop Scully off at her apartment to wait for a 
psychopathic killer to take a swipe at her.  Sure, she was wired. 
 And armed.  And there were agents carefully hidden nearby, but 
that didn't make him feel any better about leaving her alone.

"Scully."  He put his hand over hers before she could get out of 
the car.

"Mulder, for the hundredth time, I'll be fine."

"Well, excuse the hell out of me for caring about you!"

She fixed him with a look of disbelief.  "The transmitter is 
already active, Mulder."  Then she mouthed the words 'they're 
listening.'  "The moment I'm in any sort of danger you'll know."

Jeez, he'd almost let the whole Bureau in on their relationship. 
 Shit!  "Sorry, Scully.  You're right.  I guess I'm just worried 
about having to break in a new partner if anything should go 
wrong.  You know how long it took me to get used to you."

"I'm touched by your selfless concern for my well being, Mulder." 
 She grinned and winked at him.  She gave his hand a final 
squeeze before letting herself out of the car.  Reluctantly, 
Mulder watched her walk up the steps to her apartment and 
disappear behind the door.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They were watching her.  This made the game more challenging.  
Not that he wasn't up for the challenge.  In fact, he relished 
it.  How gratifying it would be to take this one while they 
watched.  Maybe she was wired.  Maybe he'd let them listen to her 
screams, to his laughter, to the sound of her death.  Yes, this 
would be even better than the others, sweeter, and oh so much 
more satisfying.

He'd watched her sleep last night.  Stood over her and planned 
out all the things he would do to her when the time finally came. 
 

He'd held the blade of the knife at her throat, enjoying the 
feeling of power it gave him.  Death over life, with a simple 
flick of the wrist.  Not yet, he'd had to remind himself.  He 
wanted to play with this one a little while longer.  She wasn't 
afraid enough yet.  He wanted her to know how close she was to 
death, how helpless and vulnerable she was.

That's when the inspiration hit him.  A wide smile played across 
his lips as he carefully and methodically wiped the knife clean 
of prints and then placed it on her night stand next to, he 
laughed to himself... next to her gun. 

Soon.  Soon he would show her that she was no better than all the 
others.  She was the same.  They were all the same.  Soon she 
would know that too.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

End of Part 2

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A week.  A full seven days since she'd found the knife on her 
night stand and he still hadn't returned for her.  Predictably, 
the weapon had been clean of fingerprints or any other evidence 
that might lead them to the killer, if this even was the killer. 
 Maybe it was just someone who wanted to put a scare into her, 
some sick prankster determined to unnerve her.  Well, he'd done a 
damn fine job of it.  And after a week of waiting, she was 
stressed and exhausted.  She'd hardly slept at all, and it was 
clearly affecting her mindset.  She was ready for this to end.

She and Mulder had been forced to put their relationship on hold. 
 Just when she was starting to get used to their intimacy, his 
arms around her while she slept, his sleepy 'good morning, 
sunshine' whispered in her ear, the noises he made in her 
apartment and her life that reminded her she wasn't alone 
anymore.  It was amazing how quickly she'd grown accustomed to 
his presence in her personal space.  And how much she missed him 
now that they couldn't be together.

The only time she was allowed to shut off the mike was when she 
was at work.  And being as they couldn't trust even the walls of 
their own office, she was not free to take even a moment's 
comfort from her partner.  An awkward tension was building 
between them, partly due to lack of privacy, partly due to the 
unresolved issues between them.  Scully found herself erecting 
that wall again, distancing herself from him physically and 
emotionally.  She began to wonder if maybe they'd made a mistake 
in becoming romantically involved.

Today had been the day of Diana's funeral.  She and Mulder had 
both attended, but they weren't seated together.  Mulder had sat 
with Diana's family.  Well, her brother and father anyway.  For 
whatever reason, Diana's mother who lived in Spain, did not see 
fit to make the journey to pay respects and bid her daughter a 
final farewell.

From where she sat, Scully had been able to see Mulder's face 
throughout the entire service.  He was clearly bereft.  Though 
other's may not have perceived his emotions so easily, Scully 
could read him like the proverbial open book.  She saw pain on 
his mostly stoic face.  She saw in his eyes that he was 
remembering.  Remembering his wife.

He loved Diana.  It was so clear to her now.  Despite what he had 
told her that day at the Watergate,  Scully knew Mulder had been 
in love with his ex-wife.  Though he didn't speak at the funeral, 
Mulder had made a ceremony of placing a bouquet of white roses on 
Diana's casket, walking away with tears streaming down his 
cheeks.  Scully's heart ached at the sight.  

Yes, maybe becoming involved with Mulder had been a terrible 
mistake.  Maybe SHE loved him so much that she couldn't see what 
she really was to him, a consolation prize.

It had seemed so right at the time, falling into bed together 
after a particularly unpartnerly day at the beach.  The trip had 
been Mulder's suggestion, a day to unwind after a long case that 
had worn on them both and ended with little resolution.  She'd 
been too weary to resist the temptation of a day that included 
her two favorite things, the ocean and Mulder.  So they'd put 
their thoughts of work behind and spent a day like a normal 
couple, poking around in the little tourist shops, eating seafood 
at an outdoor cafe on the boardwalk, and beach-combing.  

They walked for hours along the shoreline, talking and laughing 
and playing in the surf.  At some point, she realized they were 
holding hands and though she knew she should let go, she couldn't 
bring herself to break the contact.  By sunset Mulder had his arm 
around her shoulders and she held him at his waist.  

They ate dinner in a dark and romantic Italian restaurant with 
the intention of heading home after. But the wine had been 
exceptional, and they drank more than they should have.  With 
both of them feeling a little too good to drive the long trip 
home, they'd opted for a motel instead.  The look on Mulder's 
face when she'd offered to share a room with him was beyond 
description.  Emboldened by wine, she made no pretense about 
hiding her desire from him.  For once they both just gave in to 
their needs and the lovemaking that resulted had been incredibly 
tender, and at the same time unbelievably erotic.  

She would never forget that night.  But right now she couldn't 
help but think maybe it should have ended right there.  Instead 
of waking up in the morning and making love again, maybe they 
should have admitted to a mistake and blamed it on the wine.  She 
felt guilty now.  Though Mulder had been a very willing 
participant, she had initiated.  

With all the doubts she was having about their relationship, she 
began to over analyse every conversation they'd had since that 
first night.  He never told her he loved her.  Of course, she 
never told him either.  But she knew she loved him.  She was 
afraid to tell him.  Afraid he would feel that she expected his 
love in return.  That she needed it from him.  

Needing was weak.  She couldn't afford to be seen as weak.  She 
was his partner first and foremost.  He depended on her to be 
strong and competent.  She couldn't shatter the illusion for him, 
the one she had painstakingly maintained from the first time she 
met him, that she was as strong and capable as he, that she 
didn't need his protection or his emotional support.  How ironic 
that she lived a lie every day in their search for the truth.  

So many times she had stood on the brink, barely holding herself 
back from plunging to her death.  It would have been so easy to 
reach out and let him pull her back.  But if he lost his trust in 
her ability to take care of herself, she would be useless to him. 
 A liability.  She would lose his respect.  And if he didn't 
respect her, there would be no point in continuing to work with 
him.  So in the circle of logic she had created, telling Mulder 
that she loved him meant having to leave him, and she knew she 
wasn't strong enough for that.

Seven days.  Maybe it wasn't too late to go back.  She would miss 
the feel of his touch on her bare skin, the taste of his kiss, 
the passion of their lovemaking, but she would still have his 
friendship, his companionship, his devotion.  Would it be so bad 
to return to what they had been?  It had sustained her for seven 
years.  

He'd loved that woman enough to make her his wife.  And not after 
so many years together, but rather months.  He was sure of Diana 
so quickly.  If only he had told her about Diana from the 
beginning.  She would have understood the trust he placed in the 
woman he'd married.  Scully would have understood her own place 
in Mulder's life better.  She would have accepted her place, 
hated it, but accepted it nonetheless.  Strangely, she found 
herself feeling like the other woman.  Even now that Diana was 
dead.  She couldn't stop herself from feeling guilty.  She should 
have stepped aside when Diana returned to DC.  If only she had 
known.

Seven days.  When this was over she would talk to Mulder and make 
him understand.  They had to go back, before it was too late.  It 
was the right thing to do.  Even if she did feel like she was 
dying inside, it could be no other way.  

A sudden loud explosion shook her apartment and jolted her out of 
her melancholy thoughts.  It was close, in the building, sounded 
like the basement.  She was off the couch and out in the hallway 
in an instant.  Other tenants were already popping out of their 
doors.  Scully could smell chemical smoke and yelled for everyone 
to get clear.  "Everyone out of the building!  There could be 
more!  Get out and get across the street immediately!"  

As the panicked crowd began to hurry out of the building, Scully 
spoke into the hidden mike in her collar.  "Watchdog, this is 
Agent Scully.  I think a bomb just went off in my building.  Can 
you guys call the fire department?  Tell them there is a possible 
chemical hazard.  I'm heading out too.  The smoke is getting 
thick fast."  

She coughed and rubbed her eyes as she made her way outside.  It 
was late, nearly eleven thirty.  Most of the tenants were in 
their robes or pajamas.  As she went to cross the street with the 
others, Mulder's car pulled up and screeched to a halt beside 
her.  

"Are you all right, Scully?  What the hell happened?"  He started 
asking questions before he was even fully out of the car.  He 
reached for her but she pulled back.

"I'm fine, Mulder.  There was an explosion in the basement.  The 
smoke has a strong chemical odor.  We really should check the 
building for injured, but the air in there isn't very 
breathable."

"Fire department's on its way.  And the bomb squad has been 
notified as well.  Are you sure you're all right?"

She rolled her eyes.  "I said I'm fine."

He nodded and the concerned look on his face turned to anger.  He 
hated when she shut him out.  He hated her 'I'm fines.'  She was 
always making him feel like his worry was unwanted and 
superfluous.  

The surveillance van pulled up, and the stakeout team got out to 
see if they could help.

Agents Reed and Nash were on watch tonight.  The two men had a 
combined forty-eight years of service with the Bureau.  Special 
Agent Reed came over with his partner not two paces behind him.  
Scully heard an old woman coughing and having a difficult time 
catching her breath, so she went to offer her some help until the 
paramedics could arrive.  Mulder watched her for a minute then 
turned his attention to the surveillance team.  "Well, now you 
guys will have something to tell the relief team besides bad 
jokes.  You wanted excitement."

"We would have settled for catching the UNSUB," Nash quipped and 
lit up a cigarette, eliciting a frown from his partner.

"Hey, Vince, I thought you quit?"

"That was last week when my wife got on her health nut kick 
again."

"And this week?"

"She and her girl friends went to a spa down in Florida.  I 
figure I've got a week left to enjoy myself."

John Reed shook his head and laughed.  "Linda's going to bust 
your ass when she gets home."

"Always does."  He smiled and turned to Mulder.  "Speaking of 
wives... I suppose we should be getting Mrs. Spooky inside the 
van." 

The emergency vehicles were starting to arrive and it was 
becoming chaotic.  "Yeah," Mulder agreed, looking around for 
Scully.  The old woman she had been tending to was sitting on the 
curb with an elderly gentleman patting her hand.  Mulder's brow 
furrowed a little deeper.  His eyes scanned the crowd, and the 
more time that passed without any sign of her, the faster his 
heart pumped.  Soon all three men were tearing through the 
growing assemblage looking for the petite red head.  

"Scully!" Mulder yelled, his throat tight with fear.  "Scully!"  

"Agent Mulder!"  Reed called after him.

Mulder stopped and turned around.  "Did you find her?"

"He's got her!" Agent Reed raged.  "The son of a bitch set us up! 
 He knew we were watching!  The bastard took her right out from 
under our noses!"

Mulder was breathing hard now.  "Fuck!  God damn it!  Is her wire 
still active?"  He was racing back to the van.

Reed nodded.  "Yeah.  But there's not much range on those things. 
 A couple miles and we'll lose her."

"Shit!  How could I be so fucking stupid?"  He climbed into the 
back of the van and sat down at the console next to Nash.  "What 
are we picking up?"  He slipped the headset on.

He could hear a man's voice laughing, the faint sound of a car 
engine, and a lot of static.  Another thirty seconds and it was 
gone.

"Lost it!  Damn it!"  Nash slapped his hand down hard on the 
console.  

"Play it back," Reed told his partner.

A moment later the tape was rewound and the three men listened 
intently.  First it was Scully's voice talking to one of her 
neighbors.  Then the whisper of a man's voice.  "Dana...don't 
move.  Don't turn around.  Do you feel the gun at your back?  If 
you scream, bitch, I'll kill you right here and now."

"Where are you taking me?"  Scully's voice asked.

"Just over here.  My car.  We're going for a ride."

"I'm not going with you.  You're going to have to kill me here." 
 

The man laughed.  "What?  And spoil all the plans I've made for 
you?"  There was a muffled cry and the sound of something coming 
in contact with the microphone.

"Sounds like he subdued her somehow and is carrying her."  Reed 
commented.

Mulder buried his face in his hands and listened to the rest of 
the tape.

Scully never uttered another sound.  Instead they heard car doors 
shutting.  An engine starting.  And then the man spoke again.

"Did you really think you could prevent me from taking her.  No 
one can stop me.  I know you're listening.  You dumb fucks don't 
have the slightest clue who you're dealing with.  The bitch has 
to learn.  Has to be taught like the others.  I only wish you 
could hear what they sound like when they realize they're about 
to die.  They think they're so tough and invincible, but I show 
them what they really are.  Pathetic whores who cower in the 
presence of a real man.  She'll be no different than the others. 
 They're all the same."  

And then he laughed... and the tape turned to static as the 
microphone cut out.

Nash switched off the recording.  A long awkward moment of 
silence filled the van.  With his face still buried in this 
hands, Mulder struggled for control.  He hated himself for 
failing to see the obvious.  Of course the bomb had been a decoy, 
a distraction to catch them off gaurd.  Scully had been depending 
on him to protect her from this monster.  She'd put her life in 
his hands and he'd dropped it.  Because of his rookie mistake.  
There was a very real possibility that she would end up like 
Diana.  The thought nearly brought up his dinner.  He was still 
hiding his face, but he could hear Agent Reed talking on the 
phone and requesting back up.  Nash put a hand on Mulder's 
shoulder.  

"If he doesn't ditch the wire and it remains active... there's a 
chance we could pick it up again.  We can run a signal search.  
If he doesn't take her far, maybe we'll find her before..."

Mulder turned to the older man with a look of anguish.  "Before 
what?!" he spat.  "Before he tortures her?  Before he rapes her? 
 Before he hacks off her hands?  Or do you mean before he kills 
her?"

"Take it easy, Mulder."

He laughed.  "Take it easy?  I just gave my partner over to some 
sick fuck who wants to act out his twisted fantasies on her!"

"It was an honest mistake.  We underestimated his boldness."

"No!"  Mulder refused to let himself off the hook.  "I knew he 
was capable of this.  I knew his arrogance, his audacity.  He's 
very aggressive... I should have realized what was happening.  
Damn it, I should never have let her out of my sight!"  He huffed 
a frustrated sigh.  "Shit!  We don't have much time."  He could 
wallow in guilt later.  Right now he had to find Scully.  At 
least this case was multiagency.  He had a lot of resources at 
his disposal.  He took out his cell phone and started making 
things happen.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It used to be a sexy fantasy that she played out in her head 
sometimes when the mood struck her.  Being forced to submit to 
sex.  Having another control her in that way.  It was erotic and 
thrilling and she loved surrendering to helplessness, giving up 
control.  She'd even gone so far as to act out that little 
scenario a time or two with Mulder when she was in a playful 
mood.  It was exciting.  She'd let him tie her up and talk tough 
and then they'd have sex while she pleaded for him to stop.

She pleaded for him to stop.  

But it wasn't a game this time.  And it wasn't Mulder.  It had 
nothing to do with submission.  It wasn't erotic, not even 
sexual.  It was an act of violence against her person.  Physical 
and emotional battery.  She was terrified while it was happening. 
 She felt so utterly and completely vulnerable. Powerless.  
Afraid for her life.  It had so little to do with sex and so much 
to do with brutality.  There is nothing so terrifying as being 
bound in restraints while another causes you physical harm...

"Ready to have a little fun, bitch?"  His voice was rough and 
filled with contempt.

"Please.  Don't do this."  Wrong, wrong, wrong thing to say, she 
admonished herself.

He laughed as he came closer to her.  The look in his eyes was 
pure hate.  She didn't even know what color they were.  To her 
they were the color of evil.

"Please!"  She tried to kick at him as she struggled to move 
further away across the cold hard concrete.  Her bound feet 
connected with his right knee and he cursed and kicked her back 
several times.  She did her best to protect herself, curling into 
a ball and covering her head and face with arms tied at the 
wrists.  

God, it hurt.  She thought he'd never stop.  Her back took most 
of the abuse.  But he managed to get in a couple of solid hits to 
her stomach, knocking the wind out of her.  As she gasped for 
air, he shoved her onto her back.

She watched in horror as he unzipped himself.  No, no, please 
God!  She was still desperately sucking in air, her heart 
pounding in her chest.  

He pulled his erection free of his pants and stroked himself, his 
cold eyes never leaving her terrified face.  He continued to 
masturbate while she lay frozen before him.  "What's the matter, 
bitch, you never seen a real man's cock before?  I bet you've 
never seen anything as big as this."  He continued to touch 
himself as he spoke.  "I'm sure you've never been fucked by 
anything like this.  Have you, bitch?  Have you?"  He reached 
down and grabbed a fist full of her hair.  "Answer me!"

"Please...don't."  It came out as a breathless whisper.

Then he stepped over her and knelt, straddling her chest.  He 
wouldn't let go of her hair so she couldn't turn away from the 
ugliness he was pressing against her face.  She shut her eyes 
tight and bit her lips closed.  She hated how afraid he made her 
feel.  It terrified her knowing what he'd done to the others.

"Look at it!"  He demanded rubbing himself across her cheeks and 
mouth. "Open your fucking eyes and look!"

She shook her head resolutely.  He pulled back a little and 
suddenly she was rocked by a hard slap across her face.  The next 
blow connected with her nose and Scully felt the pop as cartilage 
cracked, then the wet trickle of blood on her upper lip.  He 
jerked her head up, then slammed it back hard onto the floor, 
before finally releasing her hair.  Then she could feel the tight 
grip of his fingers bruising her throat.  Her eyes flew open as 
the air supply was cut off from her lungs.  At that moment, she 
was certain she would die at his hands.  All she could think 
about was getting air.  

He brought his face down close to hers and slobbered a vicious 
kiss over her open mouth, nearly forcing his tongue down her 
throat.  She gagged as he continued to choke her mercilessly.  He 
tasted like bitter poison.  She was starting to feel lightheaded, 
and she knew she would pass out soon.  Dear God in Heaven, please 
help me, she prayed.

Everything went black...

He must have stopped choking her after she passed out.  She awoke 
to the terrifying realization that he was inside of her.  His 
brutal thrusts tore at her walls.  She wanted to push him off.  
Her hands were pinned behind her back.  His mouth tormented her 
breasts, licking and biting.  She couldn't help herself; she 
screamed until she sobbed.  "Noooo!  Stop!  Stop!  Noooo..." she 
cried.

He was heavy and strong and she had no defense against his 
actions.  It went on for what felt like hours.  She begged for 
him to stop hurting her, knowing full well that she was playing 
into his sick fantasy.   And she screamed for him to get off of 
her.  She was too frightened to think rationally.  She just 
wanted it to end.  She just wanted it to all be over...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

With each second that ticked by on the clock, Mulder hated 
himself a little bit more.  Scully was suffering right now 
because of him.  Somewhere out there a twisted psychopath was 
frightening her, torturing her, raping her... maybe she was 
already dead.  All because of his failure.

As the minutes passed, he thought of what it had been like to see 
Diana's butchered, multilated, lifeless body lying nude on the 
dirty pavement.  The thought that this might very well be how he 
would also see Scully for the last time, was just too unbearable 
to consider.  If she was still alive, she would be waiting for 
him to find her.  She would know that everything humanly possible 
was being done to discover her whereabouts.  She would be 
waiting, hoping, praying that help would find her.

They were running out of precious time.

Hour after agonizing hour, the tech teams combed the city, 
sweeping the airwaves for any sign that the wire Scully had been 
wearing might still be active and traceable.  It was a long shot 
and Mulder knew it.  The guy most likely ditched the wire 
someplace far away from where Scully was being held.

The night came and went and so did the likelihood of finding her 
alive.  The hope that she would survive this was rapidly fading 
into futility and despair.  Of course, they wouldn't give up.  
Not until she was found... one way or the other.

If his failure caused her death, no one could stop him from 
putting a bullet in his brain.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She spent a night naked and shivering on the bone-chillingly cold 
floor of that dark, foul smelling basement, petrified that he 
would return for her.  He did.  Twice more she had to endure that 
horror.  Begging him all the while, 'No more... no more... no 
more...'  She was in shock.  Unable to stop her body from 
shaking, her teeth from chattering.

God, please.  She prayed, please let this end.  

She knew she had no chance of escape.  Her only hope of survival 
was rescue.  Mulder would be frantic by now.  There was no doubt 
in her mind that he would be doing everything he could to find 
her.  She feared for both of them he might not get there in time. 
 
  
Each noise she heard from the floor above sent her into a renewed 
state of panic, fearing her captor was returning to inflict more 
of his hateful torture upon her. 

Her body ached from the beatings that had accompanied each 
attack.  Her genitals were raw from abuse and sticky with his 
semen.  The sickening smell of that man was everywhere on her 
body, reminding her of his deeds.  Every breath she took hurt.  
Silent tears mixed with the dried blood on her face as Scully 
waited for the next outrage she knew with certainty would come. 
The dread of knowing in advance what this monster was capable of, 
what he had done to the others, scared her more than anything 
else.  She knew how she would die... the only question was, when?

God, please.  No more.  I can't take anymore.  Don't let him hurt 
me again.  Let this nightmare end.  Let it end soon.  Please, 
God.  Please, please, please... She drifted off to sleep, 
muttering prayers to a God she wasn't sure had any mercy left for 
her.


The sound of gunfire from somewhere up above woke her with a 
jolt.  There were muffled voices and heavy footsteps.  And then 
the brightness.  A glaring light that lit up her indignity and 
pain for all to see.  
She wanted to hide, to crawl away into some dark hole where 
nobody could find her, including herself.

As the voices came closer, she could make out what they were 
saying.  "We found her!  Jesus!  Tell Mulder we found Agent 
Scully!  And call the paramedics!"

She shut her eyes to the light, and her mind to the world around 
her.  She heard but didn't process more voices, this time, right 
beside her.  She felt a hand touch her neck to check for a pulse, 
and she flinched away.  Her eyes snapped open but didn't focus.  

They were too close.  "Get away!  Get away from me!" she cried as 
she tried to curl up into a tiny ball so small they wouldn't be 
able to see her.  "Leave me alone!"

"Scully!"  Mulder's desperate voice called out to her from the 
top of the stairs.

"Down here!"  They told him, and she heard him charge down the 
wooden steps.

"Get away...get away.."  She was still sobbing in vain to the 
pair of agents on either side of her.

"Leave her alone."  He told them.  "I'll take care of her now."  
She felt a soft blanket concealing her indecency, wrapping her in 
warmth and shielding her from the abrasive light.  It smelled 
like home, like love, like Mulder.  She was swathed in Mulder's 
coat.  

"Getawaygetawaygetaway...."  The words would not stop.  She 
wanted him to hold her, yet she couldn't stand the thought of him 
touching her.

"It's me, Scully."  She felt him wrap his body around hers like a 
protective cocoon.  He whispered into her ear.  "Shh.  You're 
okay now.  It's over.  You're safe.  I've got you."

Her breath came in short bursts.

"You're all right," he soothed.

She shook her head.  She wasn't all right.  Could he see how not 
all right she was?  "Untie me."  Her voice was hoarse and weak.  
"Get these fucking ropes off me!"  She couldn't stop herself from 
shaking.  
  
She wanted out of this place.  Now!  She wasn't waiting around 
for any ambulance to arrive.  She didn't want to go to the 
hospital to be raped all over again with cold sterile 
insturments, gloved hands, and probing questions.  "I want to go 
home, Mulder.  I want to go home."

Her partner had to work quite hard at the knots that had become 
tightened by her hours of struggling for freedom.  She hissed at 
the pain as the ropes dug into her chafed and bleeding flesh.  
"I'm sorry, Scully," he apologized softly for hurting her.

"It's okay.  Just get them off.  And take me home."

Her hands were freed suddenly, and the pain overwhelmed her sense 
of relief.  
She stared at her savaged limbs, the damage was superficial but 
it stung.

"The EMTs will have ice, Scully."  He tried to reassure her.

"I have ice at home, Mulder."  Even in her current state, she was 
aware that he hadn't responded to her pleas to go home.

The last of the rope was tossed aside and she hurried to stand on 
her own feet, slipping her arms into Mulder's coat and buttoning 
it closed.  It drug the floor, and her hands disappeared inside 
the sleeves.  She wished it would swallow her up completely.  On 
shaky but determined legs, she started for the staircase.

Mulder stepped in front of her, his tall slender form blocking 
her escape.  He put his hands on her shoulders.  "Scully, I want 
the EMT's to check you out before I take you home."

"I'm fine."  Those words had never been more untrue.

"You're not fine!"  When she flinched at his outburst, she 
watched the guilt wash over him.

"I don't want to go to the hospital right now.  I don't want 
anyone to touch me, Mulder.  Please," she pleaded with him. "Just 
take me home."

They stared at each other for a moment and then he touched her 
left cheek just below her eye.  She could feel the swelling 
there.  She could see the pain on Mulder's face.  His hand 
feather traced other places on her face and neck where she knew 
there was evidence of her ordeal.  "Scully."  His voice was 
choked with emotion.  "You need medical attention."

"I can tend to my own wounds.  It's nothing life threatening.  
I'll be fine, Mulder."  Her words were spoken with a confidence 
she didn't feel.

He sighed, and his eyes closed for just a few seconds as he 
struggled with some internal conflict.  He moved in closer, and 
spoke so the others nearby could not hear what he said to her.  
"Scully.  Did he...  Did he rape you?"

Dana's mind was suddenly flooded with images that struck her 
cold.  She felt sick.  Her breathing unsteady.  She broke away 
from him in a rush for the washtub sink she remembered stood over 
in one corner.  As she clutched the sides of that filthy basin, 
she purged what little remained of her stomach contents in 
wretching bitter waves.  It was miserable, yet she did not want 
to stop.  She wanted to heave until she had expunged all the 
vileness within her.  She wanted to purify her body through that 
act of internal cleansing.  She vomited until she collapsed to 
the floor gasping for air, spots of light invading her vision.  
It did no good.  She was still filled with the stench of that 
bastard who violated her.

Mulder was kneeling beside her trying to cradle her in his arms, 
but she pushed him away.  So loath was she of her own skin at 
that moment, she could not stand for him to soil himself on her. 
 "No!"  She fought his persistence with a forceful word.  

He stayed close, but refrained from touching her.  His eyes 
locked on hers.  She saw tender concern and love as he looked at 
her. There were tears on his lashes.  "God, Scully, I'm so sorry. 
 I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel.  What can I 
do?"

"Take me home.  Please, Mulder. Just take me home now."  She 
sounded so fragile, so exhausted and defeated.

He nodded and offered her a hand up, which she gratefully 
accepted.  And then, still clutching her hand, he led her out of 
her private hell, up the stairs, past the gawking eyes of the 
other agents.  Just outside of the house they came upon a sight 
that turned her blood to ice.  

It was him.

Scully froze and stared wide-eyed at the handcuffed rapist not 
more than five feet away from her.  His smile was pure evil as he 
licked his lips suggestively and winked in her direction.  

Rage.  Pure white, wild rage engulfed her. Without a thought, she 
hurled herself at him, knocking him to the ground, all the while 
screaming obscenities and striking him with her fists.  When they 
finally pulled her off of him, she was breathing hard and she 
wore his crimson blood proudly on her trembling hands. 

She heard his sickening laughter as Mulder jerked him roughly to 
his feet.  Then her partner leaned in close and said something to 
him she couldn't hear; but she saw the fear register in the other 
man's soulless eyes.  Mulder's own eyes narrowed as he looked at 
that son of a bitch with predatory intent.  Scully had never seen 
such darkness in her lover's stare.  At that moment she knew.  
Mulder would not be satisfied with justice.  He wanted revenge.  

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

End of Part 3

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It had been nearly three weeks of frustration compounded by 
guilt.  Scully had shut him out.  She'd shut everyone out.  
Mulder wanted so desperately to help her get through this, but 
she had closed herself off to any and all attempts to discuss 
what had happened to her.  He wasn't even sure if she'd forgiven 
him for forcing her to go to the hospital.  He felt like a real 
asshole, but it was important to document the evidence of her 
assault, and she really did need to be treated for her injuries. 
 That fucking waste of a human being broke her nose and cracked 
two of her ribs!  He wanted to kill the bastard!  If only he'd 
had gotten to him first; they wouldn't need to worry about 
gathering evidence for a trial.

Outwardly, Scully was putting on a pretty damn good show.  If you 
didn't know her like he did, that is.  She'd insisted on going 
back to work, though Skinner restricted her from the field until 
her injuries had fully healed.  Mulder would have preferred she 
take some time off.  She needed to deal with this... THEY needed 
to deal with this.

She didn't want him to touch her anymore.  And all he wanted to 
do was hold her.  Especially when he looked into her eyes and saw 
how much she was hurting.  He had been sleeping on her couch 
every night as she refused to let him into her bed since it 
happened.  He could deal with the fact that sex didn't appeal to 
her right now; it would be both physically and emotionally 
painful with the trauma she'd sustained, but he couldn't 
understand why she wouldn't just let him hold her and comfort 
her.  She knew he'd never hurt her, didn't she? Maybe she hated 
him for letting this happen to her.  He was supposed to be 
protecting her after all.  Every time he looked at her, he was 
overwhelmed with guilt, knowing it was ultimately his fault she'd 
been put through this nightmare.

Scully was getting ready for work, as Mulder sat at her kitchen 
table frowning over a steaming cup... it was really awful stuff. 
 She made coffee so much better than he could. He missed her 
cheerful morning greetings, fresh cup of coffee in hand.  He 
wanted her back, the woman she'd been before this whole case 
began.  There was more than just her assault coming between them, 
he knew.  They still had relationship issues to deal with.  

He wished he hadn't been such a damn coward.  They should have 
dealt with this whole Diana matter the second it came up.  It 
would have made it a lot easier for Scully to reach out to him 
now.

Finally, he heard the shower turn off.  

Before, she always took ten minute showers.  Now she stayed in 
long after the water ran cold.  She showered before work, after 
work, and again just before she went to bed.  She brushed her 
teeth several times each day.  Even at work she was always 
heading to the bathroom and returning with her breath smelling of 
peppermint tooth paste.  And then there was the perfume.  Scully 
was never one to wear much perfume, especially at work.  She 
always smelled incredible anyway, in Mulder's opinion.  Since her 
ordeal, she literally bathed herself in it.  It was overpowering, 
and one more sign that something was very very wrong.  

Giving up on the bitter coffee, Mulder decided to  head for the 
bathroom to see if he could speed up his partner's morning 
ritual.  Leaning beside the door he knocked.  "Scully?"

"It's open, Mulder," came her muffled voice through the door.

He found her, towel wrapped, combing out wet hair.  Her body was 
a mass of fading purple and green bruises.  Every time he saw 
them, the rage welled up inside Mulder all over again.  God damn 
that bastard for what he did to her!  If only he'd gotten to him 
first.

She was watching him in the mirror as she finished detangling her 
hair and reached for the deodorant.  "Why the audience, Mulder?"

"I like to watch you.  After all these years, you haven't figured 
that out yet?"  He offered her a sly smile.

She grinned and picked up her watch off the sink to check the 
time.  "I guess I knew that."  Then she took her blow drier out 
and started to magically transform her stringy wet mop into 
glorious Scully tresses.  Followed by her makeup.  She frowned as 
she tried unsuccessfully to hide the horrible bruises on her 
face.  With a disgusted sigh, she painted on the last of her eye 
makeup and surveyed her work in the mirror.

"You look beautiful, Scully."  She always looked beautiful to 
him.

"You're a lousy liar, Mulder.  But thanks for trying."  As she 
reached for her perfume bottle, he put his hand over hers.  
Mulder could feel her stiffen at his touch.  He knew she would 
have moved away if he wasn't standing just behind her.

"No perfume.  You smell wonderful without it."

Her reaction was not at all what he would have expected.  Her 
eyes shut tight and her lips began to quiver.  She was trembling 
all over.  

"Scully?  What is it?  What's wrong?"

She shook her head, trying to regain control.  Trying to deny 
anything was wrong at all.

"Scully, please.  Let me in.  Let me help."

"I'm fine."

"No!"  Mulder slammed his hand against the wall in frustration.  
He regretted it immediately when he saw how she jumped.  "God 
damn it, Scully!  You're not fine!  You're the victim of a 
violent crime!  You were raped, Scully!  Damn it, don't give me 
that 'I'm fine' bullshit!  I know you!  I can see you're all 
messed up inside!"  She turned to him with a shattered 
expression, tears running down her cheeks.  God, he wanted to 
hold her.  He wanted to make everything better for her. "Let me 
in, baby.  Please, let me in."
 
"Mulder, I..I can't get the smell of him off me.  I want to 
forget.  I...I want it to go away.  But I can smell him.  He's 
all over me.  I can taste him still.  God, Mulder, why won't it 
go away?"

"Oh, sweetheart."  It took everything he had to restrain himself 
from putting a hand on her teary cheek.  "All the showers, 
perfume and toothpaste in the world isn't going to help.  It's 
not real.  It's only in your mind."

She nodded.  "Then why won't it go away?"

"You need to talk to someone.  You need to get help to get 
through this."

She shook her head resolutely.  "I can't.  I can't talk about it. 
 I don't want to think about what happened.  I just want to 
forget it.  I want it all to go away."

He couldn't stand it.  Seeing her in so much pain.  He reached 
for her, desperately wanting to hold her and offer her comfort.  
But she moved back quickly, just out of his grasp, a chilly gap 
left between them.  She hates me, Mulder thought.  She'll never 
be able to forgive me for letting this happen to her.  

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

In her dream he was chasing her.  The monster was after her 
again.  She was running down a street, through a suburban 
neighborhood, through the darkness, trying to make out the house 
numbers.  He was getting closer.  She was tired and she didn't 
know how much longer she could keep running.

Suddenly, she found it.  Mulder's house.  Tears of relief on her 
face, she rushed up to the door and pounded frantically to be let 
in.

The door opened.  But it was not Mulder.  It was a silk bathrobe 
clad Diana Fowley that met her there.

"M..Mulder,"  Scully panted, out of breath, her eyes looking past 
Diana into the house, frantically searching for him.

"I'm Mrs. Mulder.  Can I help you, Miss...?"

"Scully... It's me... Where... where is he?  I... need help."

"I'm sorry, Miss...Scully, is it?  Fox isn't home right now.  Can 
I help you?"

"A man is chasing me... Can I come inside?"  But as she looked 
back over her shoulder, he was gone.  

And when she turned back to Diana, she was gone too.  The door, 
however, was left open.  Confused, she went inside.  

It was a beautiful home, tastefully decorated, everything neat 
and tidy and in its proper place.  There were pictures on the 
mantle.  Pictures of Diana and Mulder, laughing, happy, married. 
 

Married.

"Oh, God!"  How could this be?  Diana was dead.  Or had it only 
been a dream?

She heard noises coming from somewhere down the hall.  Slowly, 
she made her way towards the sounds.  The door at the end of the 
hall was open, and she looked inside.

They didn't see her, but she could see them in vivid detail.  
Mulder and Diana making love on the bed.  Too stunned to turn 
away, she was forced to watch as Mulder moved over Diana, kissing 
her, telling her how much he loved her, how beautiful she was to 
him.

She felt sick.  A sob escaped from Scully's throat, attracting 
Mulder's attention.  He looked over at her.  "Scully."  He smiled 
one of his most dazzling grins.  "You'll have to wait your turn. 
 Diana's first."

What was he saying?  How could he treat her like this?  "No!" she 
cried.  But Diana started laughing at her, and then so did 
Mulder.  She turned and ran back down the hall and out of the 
house.  She was running down the walk, her face awash in tears, 
when a figure jumped out of the bushes and grabbed her.

It was him.  The monster.  She screamed and screamed, hoping 
Mulder would hear her and come to her rescue.  But Scully could 
see him through the bedroom window, making love to Diana as if no 
one else existed, oblivious to her peril.

Still screaming, Scully found herself pinned down to the ground. 
 Her clothes were gone.  He was going to rape her again... he was 
going to hurt her.  She screamed and pleaded for Mulder to help 
her.  He never came.  That horrible monster was inside her again. 
 She couldn't stop screaming...

Screaming...screaming...

"Scully!"

She woke up with a start, sitting straight up in her bed.  Her 
heart pounding hard and fast.  She was panting, struggling to 
catch her breath.  Her pajamas clung to her sweat soaked skin.

"Scully, It's okay, it's okay.  You were having a nightmare."  
Mulder was sitting beside her on the bed.  He tried to take her 
into his embrace, but she slid away from him, huddling up against 
the headboard, pulling the covers around her like a shield.  She 
shivered as if she were freezing cold.

She was cold.  Inside.  Everywhere.  Cold.  

And she felt sick.  Suddenly very sick.  As quickly as her 
shaking legs would carry her, Scully ran to her bathroom where 
she barely got the toilet lid up before she was retching and 
heaving, dropping to her knees, trying to steady herself over the 
open bowl.
She couldn't throw up.  She hadn't eaten a bite of food in days. 
 She'd been living on coffee and cola and rolls of candy breath 
mints.

Mulder came into the bathroom and watched her with concern, as 
she sat down on the floor and tried to compose herself.

"What can I do?"  He was afraid to touch her, to go near her... 
afraid he would only make things worse for her.

"I'm cold, Mulder."  

"Let's get you back in bed and under the covers then."

"No! Not yet.  I need to be in here right now.  Will you turn on 
the lights?"

"Sure, Scully."  He hit the switch, flooding the tiny bathroom in 
incandescent light.  "Let me go get you a blanket."  And then he 
disappeared for a minute into the other room.

Scully's heart was still pounding and she felt lightheaded now.  
She felt strange.  Something was wrong.  Something terrible.  But 
she wasn't sure what.  It was becoming more and more difficult to 
breathe.  What was happening to her?

When Mulder returned with the blanket, she jumped up, gasping for 
air.

"Scully?"

"Ca... can't breathe!  Mulder, I... can't breathe."  

"Easy, Scully."  He recognized her symptoms almost immediately.  
"You're hyperventilating."  He tried to wrap the blanket around 
her shoulders, but she tensely shrugged it off.

"Don't... touch me, Mulder!  I need... to get some air!"  She 
shoved past him out of the bathroom and hurried into the living 
room where she began pacing the floor nervously.

She felt like she wanted to run.  A sense of danger and urgency 
pervaded her.  Everything looked strange to her.  She felt oddly 
detached from her surroundings.  Her vision kept blurring and 
tunneling.  Sounds were amplified.  Even her own voice sounded 
odd and unfamiliar.

"Mulder, something's wrong!" she told him as he followed her 
around the room.  "Something's happening to me!"  Her eyes were 
wild with panic. 

Mulder's voice was calm.  How could he be calm?  Didn't he see 
what was happening to her? 

"Scully, I want you to sit down on the couch.  Let me wrap you up 
in this blanket and get you a paper bag to breathe into.  I think 
you're having an anxiety attack."

"No, Mulder!  This... this is real!  Something's wrong.  I 
think... you should call... for an ambulance."  But even as she 
protested, her medical training told her he was right.  That 
didn't ease her distress though.  Logically, she knew she was 
fine, but the adrenaline pumping through her veins argued 
otherwise.

"Scully, please.  Sit down for just a few minutes.  Let me help 
you.  You're going to be okay.  I promise."

"Promise?"  She was shaking so hard now her teeth were 
chattering.

"I swear it."

She nodded, and tried to force a confident smile as she made her 
way to the couch.  Mulder lovingly wrapped her up in the soft 
thermal blanket he'd pulled from her closet.  She had to admit, 
the blanket was comforting, and Mulder's assurance that she 
wasn't in any danger went a long way in calming her.  Her 
breathing was already becoming easier.

Scully cupped her hands to her face in lieu of a paper bag.  She 
took a few slow, deep breaths.  The trembling was beginning to 
subside, coming now in staggered waves rather than constant 
jitters.  Yes, control was gradually returning to her.  
Embarrassment was quickly replacing fear.  How could she let 
herself act this way in front of him?  How could she fall apart 
like that?  It was only a bad dream?  Horrible as it was, it was 
still only a nightmare.  She wasn't a child.  Why was she acting 
like one?

"Feeling any better?"  He asked, sitting down beside her on the 
couch, a thoughtful distance away.  She was grateful that he was 
respecting her need for personal space.

She let her hands fall to her lap.  Her muscles were beginning to 
relax and they ached.  "Yes... I'm better now.  Thank you, 
Mulder."  Her shame refused to let her look at him.

"Don't be embarrassed, Scully.  I've had nightmares that rattled 
me too.  And it's perfectly normal to have anxiety attacks after 
a... after a trauma like you've been through."

She was suddenly furious.  Not at Mulder, but at herself.  She 
was tired of playing the victim!  She was sick of feeling 
fragile!  She wanted her life back.  She wanted to prove to 
herself and to Mulder that she could put this all behind her and 
move on, never again to look back.  There was only one way, she 
decided.  One way to prove she was not damaged by what had 
happened to her.  She'd show Mulder she was still strong.  Still 
the same woman she'd always been.  

For tonight, she would put aside the doubts she'd been having 
about their relationship.  That could be dealt with later.  Right 
now she had to prove something.  She had to show Mulder she 
wasn't afraid of him, wasn't afraid of intimacy.  Summoning
every bit of courage and determination she had within her, Scully 
moved close to Mulder and forced herself to look into his eyes.

"I'm really okay, Mulder.  I mean... I'm fine.  In fact," she 
moved even closer, wrapping her arms around his chest, hugging 
him against her body.  "What I'd like to do right now..."  She 
nuzzled his neck, placing soft kisses along his jawline.  "I like 
to take you to bed with me, and show you just how fine I really 
am."  She kissed his lips.  Yes, she could do this.  He wasn't 
kissing back, but she didn't let that stop her.  Scully had a 
mission.  She needed to regain her confidence and Mulder's.

He pulled back a little, but she pursued, her mouth insisting on 
tasting him, her fingers sliding under the soft cotton of his 
T-shirt, seeking warm flesh.

"Scu... Scully,"  He fought her mouth away so he could speak.  
She climbed into his lap, straddling him.  "As much as I want you 
right at this moment, I don't think you're ready for this."

He did want her.  She could feel him growing hard beneath her as 
she pressed her center into his lap.  "Stop trying to protect me, 
damn it," she murmured into his collarbone, giving him a little 
nip for emphasis.  "I know what I want."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was with conflicting emotions that Mulder let Scully lead him 
into her bedroom.  On one hand, he'd been wanting her to let him 
in, waiting all these weeks for her to return to him emotionally 
and physically.  But on the other hand, he wasn't quite sure what 
this was, whether she was really coming back to him or just 
testing herself.  

He should refuse her, but how could he? Wouldn't stopping her 
right now only make her feel rejected?  She already felt tainted 
by what had happened to her, shouldn't he show her that he still 
desired her?  And then, of course, there was that.  Desire.  He 
did desire her.  He wanted to make love to her more than 
anything.  His body screamed out her name with every beat of his 
heart, with every breath he drew.  It was all about her.  Scully. 
 He wanted her.  Wanted to feel her softness against his bare 
skin.  It had been too long since she'd let him lose himself in 
her.  

And that's just what she was offering him now.  A chance to 
escape, to forget, to take refuge in the warmth of her body, and 
the sweetness of her kiss.  It had been too long... too damn 
long.

Her gentle persistence, mixed with the sheer pleasure she offered 
him, made it impossible to resist.  Soon Mulder's mouth was 
hungrily plundering hers, his hands roamed freely, kneading her 
breasts, smoothing over the roundness of her bottom, dipping into 
the wet heat between her legs.  Scully moaned and whispered 
encouraging words, as her fingers traced through his hair, down 
his neck, to drag fingernails over the taunt muscles of his back.

"Yes, yes... don't stop.  More," she told him. "Take me.  I want 
you inside of me."

Mulder looked at her face.  Her eyes were closed.  She seemed 
aroused enough, her skin being flush, her  nipples hard peaks.  
And there was no mistaking the delicious scent that was calling 
to him.  She was so wet and ready.  

Still, it bothered him the way this had all come about.  She'd 
been in the throes of a full fledged panic attack one minute, and 
the next she was climbing in his lap, pressing herself against 
his erection, attacking him without reserve.  He hovered over 
her, hesitating briefly, unsure if he was just taking advantage 
of her in her moment of confusion and weakness or if he was 
offering her the comfort and love that she desperately needed to 
overcome the trauma of her rape.

But when she reached down between them and took his pulsing hard 
cock in her strong yet delicate hand, the biology of the 
situation made the questions moot.  Scully guided him into her, 
and for a moment Mulder's eyes closed in the bliss of their 
union.  It was incredible having the slick velvety fire of her 
inner walls wrapped around his most sensitive part.  He started 
to move in her, slowly, deeper, burying himself.  And then he 
felt her go suddenly stiff beneath him.

Mulder froze, opening his eyes to see what had happened.  
Scully's face was tensed up in a grimace, her eyes held tightly 
closed.  Her hands were clenched into fists up over her head, 
wrists together as if they were tied.  Tears fell out of the 
corners of her lashes and raced backward, disappearing into the 
soft auburn halo that surrounded her head.  All at once Mulder 
came to the horrifying realization that Scully was not here in 
bed with him but somewhere across town on the cold cement of a 
basement floor.  She was muttering something he couldn't quite 
make out, he leaned closer and went cold as he heard her 
terrified words.

"No more... no more... no more..."

"Jesus!"  He pushed himself off of her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Scully's eyes opened wide the second she felt him leave her.  

"Oh, God!"  Her trembling hand shot to her mouth and she bolted 
out of bed, not stopping until she had safely locked herself away 
in the bathroom.

All she could think of was washing herself off.  Washing away 
that feeling that threatened to make her sick again.  She turned 
on the shower, sobbing uncontrollably.  God, why was this 
happening to her?  When Mulder had entered her, everything came 
flashing back.  It was as if she were being raped all over again. 
 Her skin crawled with the filth of that monster again.  She had 
to cleanse herself.  She had to find a way to get clean.  
Disregarding the pain, she made the shower water hotter, so that 
her skin turned pink everywhere that it touched her.  Then she 
took out her perfumed bodywash and her loofa and went to work 
scrubbing away her shame.

It was over for her and Mulder.  She could never be intimate with 
him again.  She would never be able to be intimate with any man 
again.  Not that she would ever consider anyone but Mulder for 
the rest of her life.  She loved him.  And because of that, she 
knew she had to let him go.  He deserved better than her.  He 
deserved someone whole and strong.  As much as it hurt her, she 
knew what she had to do.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

End of Part 4

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mulder walked alone through the empty corridors of the Hoover 
Building.  It was a bit early for most of the other Federal 
employees, not much past six AM.  He was too nervous to sleep 
today.  And anyway, the basement had mostly become his home for 
the last four months.  Since Scully had left him, work was all he 
could do to distract himself from the pain.  He'd refused another 
partner assignment and thankfully Skinner understood.  He worked 
alone now, and he took no pleasure in it.  His life had become 
nothing but dull grey casefiles, bad coffee, and long, lonely 
nights thinking about Scully.  

When she told him she was leaving the Bureau and leaving him, he 
made her promise one thing... that she'd find a psychologist, 
someone to talk to and help her get over what had happened.  
Though she never saw him or spoke to him again after that 
horrible night four months ago, Scully's mother had assured him 
that Dana had indeed kept her word.  

It hurt like hell without her.  It hurt that she wouldn't let him 
help her through her pain.  But he stayed away, respecting her 
wishes.  She said she needed some time.  She said she felt they 
made a big mistake by becoming involved romantically.  The words 
had struck him like a physical blow.  He remembered being hunched 
over against her bathroom door.  Scully had refused to come out 
after they'd tried to make love.  She just sat there on the floor 
on the opposite side of the locked door, and spoke the words that 
tore out his soul.

He didn't blame her.  She'd been through hell.  And their 
relationship had been in trouble ever since Scully discovered 
he'd kept the secret of his ex-wife from her.  Maybe they were 
destined to fail.  It was just hard to give up someone you loved 
so much.  He would never stop missing her.

Today was probably one of the last times he would ever get to see 
Scully.  The trial of her attacker had begun in earnest two weeks 
ago.  Mulder had attended every minute of the proceedings.  Today 
Scully was scheduled to take the witness stand.  It would be her 
first appearance in the courtroom since the trial had begun.

Mulder was nervous about seeing her.  He wasn't sure if she would 
even want him there, but he was the SAC and expected to attend 
throughout the duration.  He was determined to see this son of a 
bitch put away for the rest of his life.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Scully cleared her throat.  Her mouth had become uncomfortably 
dry on the ride from her apartment to the courthouse.  Her 
attorney, Janet Mumford, a friend of the family, had insisted on 
picking her up for the court appearance today.  Scully's mother 
wanted to be there to offer her support but Scully had begged her 
not to attend.  She couldn't stand the thought of her mother 
hearing of the indignities she'd suffered at the hands of that 
monster.  

Well, the monster had a name now.  She'd refused to hear it for 
all these months.  She'd shut herself off completely from the 
case and the legal dealings until it was absolutely necessary for 
her to be involved.  She'd only learned of his name the day 
before the trial began.  

Thomas Michael Harper.

She would have to face him today for the first time since her 
ordeal.  Her therapist had spent three hours with her yesterday 
trying to prepare her for what would undoubtedly be an agonizing 
and emotionally taxing day in court.  Scully hoped and prayed she 
could get through it without shedding tears.  Mulder would be 
there.  She wanted him to see her strong and sure of herself 
again.  She wondered if she'd be able to fool him.

The past four months without him had been the worst of her life. 
 She missed seeing him everyday.  She missed working with him.  
And she was so terribly lonely without his companionship.  Her 
life had been basically on hold since she'd left him.  She had no 
job, which was quickly becoming a financial concern.  Her savings 
were all but used up.  Thank God the Bureau had paid for her 
medical and legal expenses as the attack had been a result of 
active duty.  But she would have to find work soon, if she wanted 
to keep her apartment and make the payments on her car.  Too bad 
she couldn't decide what she wanted to do with her life.  She had 
contemplated returning to the Bureau in some other capacity.  But 
unless she was willing to risk facing Mulder on a day to day 
basis, she would have to transfer out of DC.  That was something 
she just wasn't prepared to do.    

Her nervous cough continued to plague her as they waited in the 
hallway outside the courtroom for the doors to be unlocked.  She 
tried to swallow over the uncomfortable lump in her thoat.  Damn 
it, she could use a drink of water.

As if a genie had granted her wish, a paper cup of the precious 
liquid appeared in front of her.  Her eyes traveled up the arm of 
the hand that held the offering, and she saw him.  Mulder.

He looked as nervous as she felt.  A tight lipped smile and sad 
dark eyes.  "Water, Scully?"

She took the paper cup from him, their hands touching in the 
exchange.  The brief contact sent a shiver through her that she 
hoped to conceal.  "Thank you... Mulder."  She drank down the 
cool water, relieving her parched throat.  When her eyes scanned 
the crowded hallway for a trash can, Mulder simply reached out a 
hand.

"I'll take care of that."  

She gave him the cup.

And he vanished back into the crowd.  She waited anxiously, 
expecting he would return, but he didn't.  He stayed away.  And 
the sadness of their short-lived encounter weighed heavily on her 
heart.  It was the simple gestures between them that spoke the 
loudest.  He would always be there if she needed him.  

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He couldn't help himself.  He knew her too well.  He knew a drink 
of water was what she needed to silence her nervous cough.  Just 
as he'd known it was her quiet cough that he heard in the midst 
of the chattering crowd.  He had the cup of water in hand before 
he stopped to consider whether or not he should even approach 
her.  But he couldn't let her suffer.  Surely she would forgive 
him this one transgression.

He'd talked to her mother several times over the last four 
months.  Maggie had repeatedly assured him that Scully was doing 
fine, getting better.  Never once had she pointed out how much 
weight her daughter had lost, or that her face had become gaunt 
and pale.  Who the hell was this therapist she was seeing?  It 
was obvious she wasn't helping Scully get well.

Just minutes before the doors were to be opened, the prosecuting 
attorney made a hasty path in Mulder's direction.  He had a frown 
on his face, no it was more of a permanent scowl, Mulder decided. 
 But right now he seemed particularly cross.    

Martin Shelby III, slightly balding, mid forties, five foot six, 
average build.  The only thing remarkable about him was his sour 
expression and his outstanding criminal prosecution record.  The 
guy was bred to be an attorney.  Both Shelby's senior and junior 
had also practiced law.  And Marty's mother taught law at Tulane 
University.  His youngest sister would be taking the Bar exam in 
the Spring.  Mulder felt confident the case was in good hands.

"Agent Mulder!"  He called out to him halfway across the room, 
but before he could reach him, Mulder's phone was trilling for 
attention too.  

With a frown of his own, Mulder fished the cell phone out of his 
pocket and answered it.

"Yeah, Mulder."

"This is Skinner, did you get the word?"

"Sir?"

"Harper's escaped."

"What!"

"About thirty minutes ago.  When they were transporting him from 
the jail to the courthouse."

"Damn it!"  Mulder rubbed his face in frustration.  This was just 
unfuckingbelievable!

"Agent Mulder, wasn't today the day..."

"Yeah, she's here."

"I think it would be best if we got Dana to a secure location."

"I'm on it, Sir.  Call you back in a bit."  He clicked off the 
phone, wanting to get to Scully immediately, but Shelby was still 
waiting his turn.

"It looks like you just got the word."

Mulder nodded impatiently, his eyes already searching the crowd 
for Scully.

"Obviously the trials going to be suspended pending Harper's 
recapture.  Which incidently isn't such a bad thing."

"What do you mean?"

"The defense attorneys were prepared to tear your former partner 
apart.  Her credibility is seriously in question.  They had so 
much shit on her.  Her record with the Bureau isn't exactly 
squeaky clean.  For Christsake, she lied to her superiors, it's 
right on her permanent record.  Not to mention the fact that she 
was suspended for insubordination, and held in friggin' contempt 
of Congress!  And if that wasn't enough, the defense is prepared 
to call into serious question her mental and emotional stability. 
 But that's not the worst of it.  They were prepared to accuse 
her of consenting."

"What!"

"It seems Miss Scully has a history of sexual encounters and 
curious personal relationships with less than upstanding 
citizens.  In particular a Mr. Edward Jerse, a Mr. Padgett, and 
even a former FBI agent who turned out to be a wacko, Mr. Willis, 
I believe.  The defense was prepared to paint quite an ugly 
picture of Miss Scully."  He shifted uncomfortably in his 
expensive shoes.  "Agent Mulder, they were also prepared to 
accuse her of having an affair with you.  I'd say Harper's escape 
is the best thing that could have happened for our side."

"It's a load of bullshit!  Dana Scully is one of the most 
upstanding, honest, and ethical people you will ever meet!  I 
don't have the time to go into it right now, but I'll be happy to 
make you a list of all the reasons why she's a better human being 
than most of us could ever hope to be!  Excuse me!"  Mulder 
stormed off in the direction where he'd last seen Scully.  This 
was the last thing she needed.  With any luck, Harper would take 
a bullet while resisting arrest and Scully would be spared this 
heartless abuse.  Mulder wanted to be out there hunting the 
bastard down himself, but he knew it was more important that he 
protect Scully now.  He felt sure Harper would come after her 
again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They were late opening the doors.  Scully had taken a seat on one 
of the benches that lined the walls.  She had actually forgotten 
to be nervous about the trial for a minute or two, as seeing 
Mulder had really affected her.

She felt her heart pounding a little faster when she caught sight 
of him again and realized he was heading in her direction once 
more.

"Scully, I need you to come with me."  he said with a sigh.  
"Harper's escaped.  Skinner advised me to take you into 
protective custody."

"Escaped?"  She couldn't believe his words.

Janet sprung to her feet to challenge Mulder's authority.  "I'm 
Miss Scully's attorney.  Janet Mumford.  There's no reason my 
client should be detained.  I can see to it that she is provided 
with adequate protection."

Mulder completely ignored the tall blonde, instead focusing his 
stare on his former partner.  "Scully... He's likely to come 
after you again.  Please, let us... let ME protect you."

Suddenly everything was spinning out of control.  Harper was 
loose.  The monster would be after her again.  Scully felt the 
beginnings of another panic attack coming on.  She tried to 
remember the techinques her therapist had taught her for calming 
herself.  Taking a few slow deep breaths, she reminded herself 
she was in control.  Yes.  The decision was hers.

Mulder's eyes were pleading with her.

Janet put a perfectly manicured hand on Scully's shoulder.  
"Dana, as your attorney, I want to make you aware of the 
options..."

"No," Scully interrupted.  "I want to go with Mulder."

The attorney frowned.  "I'd like to remind you, Dana, that the 
FBI were the ones who allowed you to be taken by Harper in the 
first place."

Mulder lowered his gaze.

Scully turned to the other woman, unafraid to show her 
displeasure at her hurtful remark.  "I'll be safe with Agent 
Mulder.  He has my complete trust."

A true attorney, Janet didn't like to lose.  "You'll be doing 
this not only against the advice of your legal counsel but also 
against the advice of a friend."

"I understand."  Scully nodded.  Then she turned back to Mulder. 
 "Shall we go?"

He didn't smile but she could see his relief written on his face. 
 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They were enroute to the Hoover Building.  Though Scully had 
remained silent since she got in the car, Mulder was comforted 
just having her riding beside him again.  After all the years 
they'd spent together driving countless miles on case after case, 
this was perhaps one of the aspects of her leaving that he 
noticed the most.  Never before had he realized how long and 
boring those drives could be.  Even when she was simply sleeping 
beside him in the car, it somehow made the journey not only 
tolerable, but enjoyable.

"How's work?"  She finally broke the silence between them.  
Scully studied the hem of her skirt with fascination, fingering a 
lose thread.

He shot her a sideways glance.  Boy, she seemed tense.  He hated 
seeing her like that.  Is she worried about Harper, or just upset 
about seeing me again, Mulder wondered?  He was so glad she'd 
agreed to come with him.  At least she still trusted him.  He 
hadn't lost that.

"Well, I haven't been promoted to Director yet, but I think it 
might happen any day now," he joked, hoping to win a smile.

"Mulder, the day you're appointed Director of the Bureau, little 
grey men will be living in the White House," she parried, 
rewarding him with a small grin.

He chuckled, out of delight more than anything else.  She was 
still willing to exchange barbs.  He missed this.  God, he missed 
her.

She hesitated before asking the next question.  And to Mulder's 
dismay, her smile faded away as she spoke the words.  "So... who 
did Skinner get to replace me?"  

"Ah, Scully, no one could ever replace you."

"Well, that aside, who did they assign to work with you?"

He shrugged.  "I'm flying solo these days, Scully."

"They haven't assigned you a new partner?"  Her voice was laced 
with disbelief.

Mulder shook his head.

"Well, that's just crazy, Mulder!  You need someone to back you 
up when you're in the field.  It's too dangerous for you to be 
working all alone out there.  What's their reasoning for this?"  
She was getting worked up.  It reminded him even more of what 
he'd been missing all these months.

She wasn't going to like this.  "It was at my request."  He said 
it so sheepishly quiet she could barely hear him.

"Oh."  Scully seemed to consider her words very carefully before 
she spoke again.  "Well, I suppose you know best what your needs 
are then."  She grew quiet again.

He wished he could tell what she was thinking at that moment, but 
he was out of practice at reading her blank expressions.

"So, what are you doing these days?"  He hoped she wouldn't mind 
him asking.  "You go back into medicine?"

"No."  She answered simply, refusing to volunteer any 
elaboration.

Mulder took that as a hint that this subject was not one she 
cared to discuss.  His mind raced to come up with an alternative 
topic.  "Weather's supposed to be stormy tonight."  He was 
ashamed that that was all he had the courage to broach.

She nodded, but said nothing.

The remainder of the drive passed in silence.  For whatever 
reason, Scully had shut herself off from him again.  Mulder was 
reluctant to push.  He considered it a miracle of good fortune 
that she had even been willing to accept his help and protection. 
 There was no way in hell he was going to fuck this up.  If 
Scully wanted to be quiet, then he would just leave her be.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The familiar sight of Dana Scully and Fox Mulder walking side by 
side through the halls of the Hoover Building soon had the rumor 
mills churning.  As they exited the elevators onto the fourth 
floor, heads turned and conversations stopped.  

It was like returning to your old school for a visit, Dana 
thought.  A feeling that she knew all too well as a Navy brat.  
She was once again an outsider in a place she had in the past 
considered her home.  

Only this time it was different.  The eyes that fell upon her as 
she passed by the bullpen were colored with sympathy, with pity 
and morbid curiosity.  Everyone knew what had happened to her, 
why she had left the Bureau.  She couldn't help but feel like 
they were all judging her now.  Did they see her shame?  At that 
moment, Scully thought she knew how Hester Prynne must have felt, 
only the scarlet letter emblazened upon HER chest was an R.  They 
all looked at her as if she were guilty of some unspeakable sin. 
 It took everything she had, to continue walking through that 
room.

And then she felt it.  The well-known hand at the small of her 
back, a gentle yet sure reminder that she did not walk alone.  
Another simple gesture that spoke volumes to her heart.

As they rounded the corner to Skinner's office, Kim greeted them 
with a cheerful smile.  They were expected.  "Agent Mulder.  
Dana.  AD Skinner is waiting for you both.  Go right in."

Mulder quickly ushered Scully into Walter Skinner's office.  The 
AD got up from his chair, meeting them halfway across the room.  
"It's good to see you again, Scully.  I'm only sorry that it has 
to be under these circumstances."

"It's good to see you again too, Sir."  There was no way in hell 
she could bring herself to call this man Walter.  She may no 
longer be an underling, but she still felt compelled to address 
him formally.

"Agent Mulder, the US Marshal's office is handling  the Harper 
manhunt.  I would like for you to see to it that Scully is 
provided with round the clock protection until the fugitive has 
been apprehended."
Skinner pulled an envelope from his jacket pocket and handed it 
to Mulder.  "This contains a key and directions to a safehouse 
just outside the city.  Food and supplies have already been 
arranged for.  There will be a pair of agents guarding the house 
at all times.  Why don't you both swing by your apartments and 
pack what clothing and personal items you're going to need."

"Sir, I'm concerned about my mother..."

Skinner raised a hand to stop her.  "It's been taken care of, 
Scully.  Your mother is booked on a flight to California within 
the hour.  She'll be visiting your brother.  There are already 
agents assigned to go with her."

"Thank you, Sir."  Both she and Mulder said it almost in unison. 
 Scully shot an sideward glance up at her ex-partner.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As safe houses went, it was an exception to the rule.  Skinner 
must have gotten this place from a friend.  It was definitely not 
part of the regular list.  Mulder appreciated that his boss had 
made a special effort to spare Scully from the usual drab 
windowless lockup facilities or the rundown motels that were 
standard housing for those in the Bureau's protective custody.

Skinner had given them the key to a fishing cabin up on Lake 
Jefferson.  It was isolated and comfortable and well, probably 
what Scully would consider charming, in a LL Bean sort of way.  
Mulder settled on cozy.  It was definitely cozy.  A very 
tolerable place to spend some time while the Marshals conducted 
their manhunt.

It had only three rooms.  Kitchen, living room and bedroom, and a 
tiny bath.  The couch in the living room made out into a bed.  
Mulder told Scully he would sleep there.  She took her bags into 
the bedroom to unpack.

There were two agents parked out in front.  They were the first 
part of a round-the-clock surveillance team that would watch that 
nobody approached the cabin.  It still amazed him that Scully had 
so readily agreed to this arrangement.  

Scully came out of the bedroom in a pair of black leggins and a 
oversized US Navy sweatshirt.  She'd traded her business suit for 
the more comfortable clothes and tucked her hair back behind her 
ears.  On her feet she wore a thick pair of cotton socks, 
scrunched up around her ankles.  She looked ten years younger and 
infinitely more relaxed.  "This place is wonderful, Mulder.  It 
reminds me of a little cabin Jack and I use to rent up by Squaw 
Ridge."  She plopped down on the couch and looked him up and 
down.  "Why don't you go change into your civies.  I think Armani 
is a bit much for this neck of the woods, don't you?"

Comfortable.  Not just her clothes but her spirit.  Maybe she was 
getting better after all.  

He had to tear himself away from the sight of her, his eyes 
wanting to continue to drink in her beauty after so long being 
denied the privilege.  He didn't want to make her uneasy.  He'd 
have to take her in a little at a time.  Staring would only 
remind her of those idiots at the Bureau today.  They were all 
but gawking, as if she were a ghost walking beside him.  He 
wanted to scream at them.  Insensitive idiots!  What courage it 
must have taken for her to walk in that spotlight.  Nosy fucking 
morons!  How would they like to be the center of that kind of 
attention?  No wonder Scully left the Bureau.

Mulder pulled some clothes out of his bag and headed into the 
bathroom to change.  

"There's some hangers in the closet in the bedroom."  Scully told 
him a few minutes later when he exited the bathroom, his suit 
slung over his arm.  He nodded and went to the task of hanging it 
up.

When he returned to the living room, Scully patted the couch 
cushion next to her and offered him a tentative smile.  "Mulder, 
sit.  I want to talk to you."

He was like an obedient puppy, heeling immediately at the side of 
his master.  Don't do or say anything stupid to mess this up, he 
reminded himself.

She smoothed the hair behind her ears thoughtfully.  
He watched with fascination each movement she made, wanting to 
memorize it all, knowing how it felt to live without her in his 
life.

"Mulder, I want to say that I'm sorry for the way I ended things 
between us.  And I want to thank you for respecting my wishes and 
staying away.  I'm sure things have been difficult for you.  I 
don't blame you for not wanting to take on a new partner anytime 
soon.  I left you at a very low point... you'd just lost Diana, 
and in a violent and disturbing way.  It couldn't have been easy 
for you to have to deal with me and my problems on top of your 
grief.  I'm sorry.  I wasn't much of a friend to you, ignoring 
your pain like I did.  As your partner I should have been there 
for you, to offer my support.  I failed you, Mulder.  And I'm 
sorry for that."

He couldn't believe what he was hearing.  "No, Scully, I failed 
you.  Because of my stupidity you suffered through a hell I can't 
even imagine.  I'll never forgive myself for letting Harper get 
to you when you were depending on me for protection.  And to make 
things worse, I failed to make you understand your place in my 
heart, causing you to doubt yourself at a time when you needed 
reassurance and love more than ever.  My feelings for Diana were 
nothing compared to what I hold in here for you."  He put his 
hand over his heart.  "You mean everything to me, Scully.  I'm 
sorry for not proving that to you."

The tears welled up in her eyes.  "Mulder, it's been so hard 
without you.  I love you so much, but I can't put the pieces of 
my life back together.  And I'm not going to subject you to this 
person I've become."

"How can you love me when I'm the reason your life is in pieces?" 
 His own emotions were starting to bubble over.  His eyes blurred 
with unshed tears.

"No.  If I hadn't been so angry and insecure... if I had only 
listened to you and believed... if I hadn't been so afraid of 
losing you, that I refused let you in... If I'd only been 
stronger."  She bowed her head, the auburn strands she had so 
carefully placed behind her ears now falling like a veil around 
her face, hiding her shame.  She shook her head, battling for 
control over her emotions.

"If I had half your strength, Scully, I would have had the 
courage to give to you what you needed.  But I couldn't.  I held 
out on you.  I was too afraid of getting hurt again.  I didn't 
trust you."

"I guess it all comes back to trusting no one."  She sighed.  
"We're a hell of a pair, aren't we?"

"I wish we could start over, Scully.  I want another chance with 
you."  He knew he was rushing things, but he had to make his 
plea.

"Mulder, I can't.  I told you, I'm all messed up.  You saw what 
happened when I tried to make love to you."

"It was too soon."  He closed his eyes, wincing at the memory of 
that night and her terrified face.

"I'm afraid."  Her voice cracked, revealing the pain of her 
admission.

And then she did something that completely overwhelmed him.  Dana 
Scully put her arms around him and rested her head against his 
shoulder.  She let him hold her again.  Mulder dared to put a 
gentle kiss atop her head and then he rested his cheek against 
her silky hair.

They sat like that for a long time.  And then she said to him, 
"Mulder, I need to tell you... what happened... what he did to 
me."  She choked back a sob and held him tighter.

Oh, God.  Could he handle this?  But he knew that he had to.  She 
needed him to hear this.  She needed to share her pain with him. 
 He held her closer and nodded, his cheek still resting upon her 
head.

In horrifing detail, Scully proceeded to tell him everything of 
her encounter with Harper.  She was shaking and crying and 
clinging to him for all she was worth.  And by the time she was 
finished, Mulder's own tears were freely flowing down his rage 
flushed face.  He wanted to kill that son of a bitch for what he 
did to her.  He had never hated anyone so much in all his life.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

End of Part 5

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He'd listened.  And then his tears mixed with hers.  They cried 
together.  She wasn't alone anymore.  Mulder knew everything now, 
and he still wanted to hold her.  And after a while, when she 
tilted her head back, offering him her lips, he'd willingly and 
eagerly accepted her kiss.  He loved her still.  Despite what 
Harper had done.  And even though she'd shown him her 
weaknesses... Mulder loved her.

Slowly their tears turned from sadness to joy as the kissing 
became more heated and the sorrow was replaced by passion.  It 
had been too long.  Too long since the last time she tasted him. 
 His mouth hungrily pursued hers and his teeth nibbled at her 
lips before he sucked them one by one and laved them with his 
tongue.  Never had just kissing felt so erotic to her.  Mulder's 
hands had remained well behaved, doing nothing more than 
caressing her back.  She moaned first with loss, when his kisses 
left her mouth, then with pleasure, as they found her neck and he 
lavished his attention there.

It felt incredible, his lips hot and wet against her sensitive 
skin.  And when he started to nip and to lick and then suckle her 
ear... God, she was suddenly aching for him in places she never 
thought she'd want him to touch again.  Her body wanted him.  It 
told her that.  The fluttery pull in her loins, the slickness 
dampening her panties, the way her nipples were responding... the 
fire burning within her.  Her body wanted him desperately, but 
could her mind accept the intimacy?

And then he whispered, "I love you, Scully," into her ear, 
sending a shiver through her, making her physical need more 
urgent.

She climbed into his lap and took his handsome face in her hands. 
 Their eyes met and she tried to convey all her love, all her 
trust and all her desire in that one look.  "Mulder," she told 
him, "I want to try again.  Will you make love to me now?"

She saw fear mixed with love in those smoky green windows.  He 
did not shut her out.  He let her see his apprehension along with 
his desire.  "Are you sure you're ready?"

"I want you, Mulder.  I don't know how I'm going to react, but 
I've never wanted you more than I do right now."

He grinned.  "Do you think you can make it as far as the 
bedroom?"

She planted her arms around his neck.  "Carry me."

"Carry you?"  He chuckled softly as he obliged her wishes, 
lifting her up effortlessly in his arms.  "Scully, have you been 
reading cheezy romance stories on the Internet again?"

"Um hmm."  She sighed into his neck, nodding aginst the soft 
cotton of his T-shirt, breathing in the scent of a man she'd been 
without for far too long.

Smiling, he carried her into the other room, setting her at the 
foot of the bed so he could turn down the covers.  Then he took 
off his gun, setting both weapon and holster on the nightstand 
within easy reach.  They both slipped out of their clothes and 
climbed naked between the soft, clean sheets of the four-poster 
log bed.  

She really did want him.  Four months without contact with him 
had left her starved for his attention.  She wasted no time 
entangling her body with his.  Too long neglected, her skin was 
hypersensitive to touch.  It was sensory overload having Mulder's 
strong, lean body pressing against hers.  The burning at her 
center became almost unbearable, the evidence of her arousal 
dampening her thighs, the sweet redolence permeating the air 
around them.

Mulder drew in a deep breath of the heady fragrance.
"God, I missed that," he told her, as he brought his hand down 
between her legs and dipped his fingers into her curls.

She jumped at his touch, but quickly smiled to reassure him it 
was a pleasurable response.  He let his fingers play for a moment 
in the heat of her folds, sending currents of ecstasy through her 
body.  Then he brought his sticky hand back up to his lips and 
tasted her essence as if it were honey.

"Mmm..." he moaned.

Scully shuddered.

"What's your pleasure, my lady?"  His voice had grown rough.  His 
hand returned to fondle her sex.

With little gasps, and jerking hips, she responded to his 
ministrations.  Mulder knew her all too well, and in very short 
order he had her writhing in his arms, her head thrashing upon 
the pillows, her body on the verge of rapture.

He liked to make her climax first, before he entered her.  She 
knew he got off on watching her come.  And he'd told her he liked 
how it felt penetrating her when she was dripping and swollen, 
contracting and hot from her orgasm. 

Her hips were furiously rocking back and forth, reflexively 
reacting to Mulder's talented fingers rolling rapidly over her 
clitoris with increasing pressure.

When he compounded her fervor by bringing his mouth down to her 
breast and tugging gently at one hardened nipple with his teeth, 
she stiffened, coming hard against his hand.

"Oh, God!  Mulder, yes!  Now, Mulder, now!  Take me now!"

He moved over her and she felt his thick hard length pressing 
into her core.  She spread her legs wider to grant him better 
access to her still pulsing center, hoping he would be quick and 
enter her before the waves subsided.

As his erection pierced her, she drew in a deep breath.  Her eyes 
fluttered closed and her mind reeled with images... frightening 
images of another time and place.  She started to shake, she 
squeezed her eyes shut even tighter, wanting to hide from the 
horror and the pain.  He was inside her.  The monster.  There was 
no way to escape, no way to fight him off.  God, no, not again... 
please, not again.

"Scully!"  Mulder's voice was sharp and demanding, cutting into 
her nightmare.  "Scully, look at me!"

She was starting to hyperventilate, breathing rapidly against the 
recurring images of her assault.

She felt two strong yet gentle hands cupping her face.  "Open 
your eyes, Scully.  It's okay to look.  It's me, baby.  It's 
Mulder.  Just look at me."

Drawing in a deep breath, she willed herself to do as he asked.  
And when she did, her eyes were captured by Mulder's loving gaze. 
 

"It's me," he reassured her.  

"Mulder?"  She stifled a sob.

He nodded and smiled at her.  "Yeah, Scully.  I think you left me 
for a minute.  Are you okay now?"

"I think so."

"Can you do this?  Do you want to stop?"

God, she loved him.  He was being so still inside her, when she 
knew his body must be screaming at him to move.  His selflessness 
warmed her.  The love in his eyes gave her the strength to 
continue.

"I don't want to stop.  Please don't stop, Mulder."  She started 
to rock her hips against him to emphasize her need.

He held her eyes with his, and slowly began moving inside her, 
gentle controlled thrusts, gradually becoming more frantic and 
untamed as his lust for her consumed him.  Never once did he 
release her from his stare.  Even in the most abandoned moment of 
his passion, he still wouldn't leave her behind.

She'd never looked in his eyes before as he came.  It almost took 
her breath away to see them awash with joy and exhilaration, 
knowing that she had given this to him.  

"I love you, Scully," he said when he finally returned to 
himself. Then he rolled over onto his back, taking her with him, 
letting her make a pillow of his chest.  

"Mmm..." she hummed contentedly.  "I love you, too."

He traced random patterns lightly across her bare back, relaxing 
her, making her feel sleepy.  She listened to the rhythmic 
throbbing of his heart and let the rise and fall of his chest 
rock her to sleep. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Soon he would finish her.  That FBI bitch would get what she had 
coming.  Nothing would stop him from proving to her what a weak 
and useless whore she was.  Just like the others.  She had to die 
like the others.

Soon.

It was surprising how easy it had been.  After his escape.  
Stealing the car and money from the woman at the ATM machine.  
Then waiting down the block from the little redhead's apartment, 
watching them watching for him.  He had been prepared to wait for 
days for the opportunity to get at her again.  He knew they'd be 
expecting this and watching for him to show up.  

So predictable, she came home with an escort, that Agent 
Mulder... Was he her boyfriend?  He'd certainly seemed possessive 
the day they'd arrested him.  Idiot.  Didn't he realize what she 
was?  What she would do to him if she got the chance?  These 
women were as ruthless as they were ineffectual.

He'd watched them enter the apartment and twenty minutes later 
exit again, suitcase in hand.  At first he'd wondered if she was 
getting out of town.  If she'd decided to take a fast plane to 
someplace far from here and hide.  Wouldn't matter though.  He 
was a patient man.  He could wait.  Sooner or later she would 
have to return and then she would die.

But as they drove away, he'd followed and quickly realized his 
good fortune.  They weren't headed for the airport.  Maybe a safe 
house then.  He continued to follow, hanging back a safe 
distance, keeping a car or two in between them to avoid being 
detected.  He'd lost them once when a slow truck pulled in front 
of him and he couldn't pass, but he caught up to them again a 
couple miles further on.  They drove up by the Three Lakes area 
and pulled off on to an unpaved road just past a small tackle 
shop.  

He couldn't follow without making himself obvious, so he drove 
past where they had turned off, knowing they had surely taken a 
dead end road.  A dead end all right, hers.  He would come back 
and kill her very soon.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After Scully had fallen asleep, Mulder quietly slipped out of bed 
and got dressed.  He'd planned to surprise her with a fire in the 
fireplace and a romantic candlelit dinner, but he couldn't find 
any matches. He was sure they'd need them with a storm on the 
way.  Remembering that they'd passed a tiny bait and tackle shop 
about a half mile away, just before they'd turned off the main 
road, he decided to take a walk and enjoy the outdoors a bit 
while Scully slept under the watchful eyes of the surveillance 
team.  

He'd get some matches and a newspaper... maybe some chocolate 
bars too.  Scully had a sweet tooth.  He smiled at the thought.  
She wouldn't be able to resist the temptation.  He was determined 
to fatten her up again.  He didn't like to see her this thin.  It 
reminded him too much of when she'd been sick and he'd almost 
lost her to cancer.  He wanted to make her strong again, both 
physically and emotionally.  He knew she desperately needed to 
regain that feeling of control that had been taken from her.  He 
would do everything he could to help her find it again.

The air was already getting thick, a telltale sign of the 
impending rainstorm, as he strolled along the graveled road and 
enjoyed the sweet fresh scent of the woods.  His spirits were up 
for the first time in months... He and Scully were back together. 
 She still loved him despite his failures, and she was willing to 
give him another chance.  He knew he didn't deserve it, but he 
was damn well going to take it.  And he wasn't going to fuck it 
up this time.  He wouldn't let Scully down.

The clanging ring of a fishing bell that was rigged to the door 
announced his presence to the shopkeeper.  The old man behind the 
counter greeted Mulder with a friendly smile.  "How'do?"

Mulder nodded, the corners of his mouth turning up as he took in 
the scene before him.  It was like walking into a memory.  From 
the musty smell.... to the glass front refrigerator that housed 
both bottled pop and styrofoam containers of bait.  The walls 
were covered with advertising posters and hundreds of photos of 
prized catches being proudly held up for the camera by grinning 
fishermen.  There was a candy display, a magazine rack, two rows 
of brightly colored fishing lures, flys, bobbers, weights, and 
other necessities of the sport.  Some poles were leaning up in 
one corner of the room next to a bin full of hats and a line of 
rubber wading boots hanging from hooks.  As a boy, Mulder had 
made frequent trips to the bait shop nears his parent's vacation 
house, he and Samantha buying candy and sodas on lazy summer 
afternoons.  This place could have easily been the one from his 
childhood, although he knew it was hundreds of miles away.

"What can I do for ya?"  The old man interrupted his reminiscing.

"Ah... I need some matches."  He said as he picked up a newspaper 
from the stack by the counter and set it next to the old cash 
register.  "I'm staying in a cabin just up the road, and with the 
storm on it's way, I thought I'd better be prepared."

The old guy nodded and got a box of matches from behind him by 
the cigarette dispenser.  "Need any lantern fuel or candles?"

Mulder shook his head.  "Nope."  He eyed the candy display for a 
while then settled on two Snickers, a Payday, a Milkyway and 
three Hersheys, one with almonds.  Dropping his bounty on top of 
the newspaper, he waited for the clerk to ring up the total.

"So, you're staying just up the road?"

"Yeah, a friend of mine has a cabin."

"That wouldn't happen to be that strange fellow who collects 
knives, would it?"

"What?"  Mulder frowned. There was something in the uneasiness of 
the other man that made the hairs on the back of his neck 
suddenly bristle.

"He was an odd one.  Wanted to buy a hunting knife, said he 
collected them.  You know, like some people collect those damn 
souvenir spoons.  I told him I didn't sell them because there 
ain't no hunting allowed in these parts.  All I carry is pocket 
knives and gutters.  So he says he wants the biggest gutting 
knife I've got.  I sold it to him.  But the look in his eyes when 
he took that knife in his hand.  Hell, I thought he was going to 
kill me or something.  A real weird one.  That's for sure."

The color drained from Mulder's face.  His heart was already 
pounding.  "What did this man look like?"

"Oh, he was about my height, dark hair, maybe a hundred fifty, 
hundred and sixty pounds.  I'd guess he was in his late forties. 
 Kinda average looking really."

If it was a coincidence, they could all laugh about it later.  
Better to be safe than sorry.  Mulder pulled out his cell phone 
and punched in the number Agent Barlow had given him.  It rang 
and rang until the recording came on saying the cellular customer 
was currently unavailable and to leave a voice message.

"Shit!"

The old man eyed him warily.

He had to get back to Scully, fast.  "I'm an FBI agent."  He 
flashed the old man his badge.  "That man you just described 
could be an escaped fugitive.  I need to borrow your car so I can 
get back to my cabin before he does."

"I'd like to help you.  But my wife, she took the car to run into 
town a little while ago.  She should be back in..."

Mulder didn't wait around to hear the rest of what the old man 
said.  Panicked, he took off running back along the road through 
the woods that led to the cabin.  

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid... he berated himself as he ran 
faster than he ever had in his life.  Why did he leave her alone? 
 He could have sent Barlow or Stevens to the store in his place. 
 He never should have left her. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She awoke with a start, feeling the heavy weight of someone on 
top of her and realizing at the same time that her arms were 
restrained above her head.  She was handcuffed to the headboard. 
 And the nightmare face of the monster was staring down at her 
again.

"Hi, bitch, remember me?"

She screamed as loud as she could.  Mulder.  Where was he?  What 
had this bastard done to him?

"Shut up!"  Harper yelled at her and hit her across the face with 
the back of his hand.

This couldn't be happening.  It couldn't be real.  It was just 
another nightmare, she told herself.  But the stinging pain in 
her cheek was all too real not to believe.

"We didn't get to finish, did we?"

She swallowed over the hard lump of fear stuck in her throat.  
"Where...Where's Mulder?"

Harper's grin was pure evil.  He held the bloody hunting knife 
out for her to see.

"Oh, no... God, no."  Mulder.  She couldn't stand the thought of 
it.  "You fucking bastard!" she screamed at him.  It didn't 
matter anymore what he would do to her.  If Mulder was dead, she 
wanted to be dead too.

Her attacker's eyes got wild.  Oh, so that was it, she thought.  
That's what it takes to get him going.  She wanted him to lose 
control.  She wanted to get this over with as quickly as 
possible.  "Yeah, I'm talking to you, you worthless sack of shit! 
 I'm not afraid of you!  Go ahead and kill me!  If you have the 
fucking balls that is.  I don't believe you do."

The blow that came this time nearly knocked her unconscious, but 
Scully was determined to make him use that knife, for her blood 
to mix with Mulder's, for this whole thing to finally come to an 
end.  She had to die now.  She didn't want him taking the time to 
rape her first.  "You're such a pathetic coward!  How long does 
it take a God damn loser like you to work up the guts to take 
someone's life?"

She saw the rage in Harper's face.  He was close, very close.  
You can do this, Dana, she told herself.  You can end this now.  
"You stupid bastard!  You're a worthless loser and a fucking 
coward!"

He drew the knife up over his head in a white knuckled bloody 
fist.  She closed her eyes and prayed he'd deliver death quickly.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mulder was in shape.  He was a good distance runner, but 
sprinting the half mile back from the tackle shop left him 
gasping for air, and with a painful stitch in his side.  He ran 
first to the surveillance car and confirmed his worst fears... 
they were dead, both of them.  One's throat had been slit, the 
other had taken a bullet in the face.  

Harper was here.

He had to get to Scully before it was too late.

Ignoring his protesting lungs and the stabbing ache in his side, 
Mulder raced to the cabin.  His first instinct was to charge 
through the door, screaming her name, but he managed to control 
himself.  As his training had taught him, Mulder checked first in 
the windows of the cabin, trying to determine what the situation 
was inside. 
 
He didn't see anyone in the front room, so he quietly opened the 
door and entered.  Immediately he heard sounds coming from the 
bedroom.  He heard Scully... Thank God, she was still alive!  She 
was screaming some obscenities and insults at Harper.  But the 
next thing he heard set him in motion in a hurry.  It was the 
sound of a hard slap... This mother fucker was going to die!

The scene in the bedroom filled him with even more rage.  Harper 
had Scully cuffed to the bed and he was sitting on top of her.  
Mulder had arrived in the doorway just in time to witness Harper 
poised with a knife over her.

He should have yelled 'Federal Agent, stop or I'll shoot!'  He 
should have just taken the guy out with his gun and been done 
with it.  But this wasn't about the law and justice anymore.  
This wasn't about proper procedure or due process and the rights 
of the accused.  This battle would not take place in a courtroom. 
 This was personal.  This bastard had hurt the woman Mulder 
loved... he was still hurting her.  And in his fury and outrage, 
all Mulder could think about was revenge.

That's why he reacted the way that he did, against all logic and 
common sense.  He threw himself at Harper in a running tackle, 
knocking him off Scully and sending both men rolling across the 
bed and tumbling to the floor. 

They came to a stop, Mulder above, Harper's stunned face staring 
up at him.  "You God damned son of a bitch!  I'm going to kill 
you for what you did to her!"  Drawing back a fist, Mulder vented 
four months of pent up anger, frustration and remorse.  Letting 
loose all his furor in a flurry of punches, battering Harper with 
bitter hatred.

In his blinding choler, Mulder failed to see that Harper still 
held the knife.  But he soon realized his error, when the other 
man struck wildly and stabbed him in the back just below his left 
shoulder.  He cried out and stiffened againt the burning cut of 
the knife.  Harper took the momentary advantage and brought the 
dagger up between them, holding the bloodied razor edge against 
Mulder's throat.

For tense seconds, the two combatants just stared at each other. 
 Then Harper's face broke into a toothy evil grin as he readied 
himself for the sweet kill.  Mulder smiled too, and delighted in 
the bewildered look he got in return.  Then he made his move, 
bringing his right knee up in a sudden, hard jerk between 
Harper's legs.

With a loud groan and an expulsion of what must have been every 
bit of air in his lungs, his opponent dropped the weapon and 
brought both hands to his injured organs.  Mulder stood up and 
watched the the other man coughing and writhing in pain on the 
floor.
He had no compassion in his heart.  He kicked Harper 
repeatedly... remembering every word Scully told him about what 
had been done to her by this man.

"You like to hurt people?"  Mulder bit out.  "Hurt me, you 
sadistic bastard!  Come on!  Get up!"  He grabbed Harper by the 
front of his shirt and lifted him off the floor, forcing him to 
stand up and resume the fight. 

Still in agony, Harper eyed Mulder's Sig that lay just a few feet 
away on the bed.  He hesitated for only a moment to consider it, 
then dove for the gun.

Mulder was on him in an instant.  The two men wrestled the gun 
between them.  Five shots went off in sucession...

He shoved Harper's dead body to the floor.  It landed with a 
satisfying thud.  Mulder had exacted his vengeance, but it was a 
victory tainted by darkness.

Now he turned to Scully, curled up against the headboard, her 
eyes wide with fear, having watched the battle helplessly 
chained.  He fumbled in his pocket for keys and freed her.  Then 
he held her, trembling and naked in his arms, and rocked her 
while they both shed tears of relief.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


When she made the decision to return to the Bureau to resume her 
work with Mulder on the X-Files, Scully had expected it to take 
awhile before she felt comfortable again.  After the way people 
stared at her that day she and Mulder had walked through the 
bullpen... the memory of it still gave her an uneasy feeling in 
the pit of her stomach.

She couldn't help but wonder if she wasn't making a horrible 
mistake in coming back.  Would she always be looked upon as the 
agent who was raped?  Would there always be pitying stares and 
whispered gossip to endure?  Could people forget what had 
happened to her and let her get on with her life?  

Her colleagues saw her as a victim now, a frail woman unable to 
defend herself.  Could she ever regain their respect?  It was 
difficult enough garnering respect as a female agent in the boys' 
club of the FBI.  The fact that she was of petite stature and 
attractive, made it even less likely that she would be taken 
seriously.  Add to that the circumstance that she was now seen as 
the weak prey of a man she was supposed to have been in pursuit 
of... well, it seemed very unlikely that her fellow agents at the 
Bureau would ever again look at her as a capable authority 
figure.  

But damn it, she wanted her job back!  She wanted her life back! 
 She refused to let Harper continue his domination of her.  She 
was through being his victim.  Her therapist, Dr. Mosler, had 
warned her that survivors of rape often assume a victim's role in 
their daily lives.  She saw herself easily slipping into a 
pattern of anxiety driven failures and self-destructive 
behaviors.  By sheer will and stubborn determination, she would 
fight this fear that threatened to consume her identity and 
destroy her life. She would return to work.  It wouldn't be easy, 
but she had always been a strong woman, and nothing Harper had 
done could take that away from her.  She could do this, she told 
herself.  One step at a time, she would regain control of her 
life.

Today, her first day back, she made a point of avoiding coming in 
contact with anyone.  She took the back stairs and quietly 
slipped into their basement office unnoticed.

She expected to find Mulder there.  After all, he'd hopped out of 
bed bright and early at seven o'clock this morning, giving her a 
kiss on the forehead and telling her he was going home to get 
ready for work.  She had hoped to ride in together.  She needed 
his emotional support today.  But things were slowly returning to 
normal in her life.  And she expected their relationship would be 
too.

During the two weeks Mulder had been off on sick leave, 
recovering from the stab wounds as a result of his battle with 
Harper, he had been very attentive and thoughtful.  But they were 
partners once again and would therefore be back to dealing with 
all the same problems of partner vs. lover.  It would never be 
easy.  But she desperately wanted this to work.  After all that 
she'd been through recently, she needed someone to depend on.  

Her therapist had told her it was important that she not isolate 
herself, that she needed to trust others and seek relationships, 
companionship.  To Scully's astonishment, Mulder had not only 
agreed to attend her therapy sessions with her, but he'd actually 
been the one to suggest it.  She wasn't sure how she felt about 
that yet.  He'd so far only been present for one of her sessions. 
 It had been uncomfortable, but positive.  He'd been very 
supportive.  Opening up about her feelings just wasn't something 
that had ever been easy for her.  

Mulder's reactions however were reassuring.  He didn't judge her, 
didn't make light of her fears.  And he hadn't discussed any of 
it with her outside of Dr. Mosler's office, except when she had 
initiated the conversations.  It was obvious he was trying, 
making an effort to understand what was going on inside her head. 
 On a personal level, things seemed to be working well at the 
moment.  Professionally, she wasn't sure yet how everything that 
had happened would impact their partnership.  Did he still 
respect her as a fellow agent?  Could he trust her to back him 
up?  Did he feel that he had to protect her still?  Would their 
effectiveness as a team be diminished by their personal 
involvement?   She resolved to take in stride the circumstances 
of their peculiar relationship.

So when she entered the basement and he wasn't there, she told 
herself, "Welcome back, Scully," sighed, and hung up her coat on 
the rack.

That's when she saw it.

In the place where she'd always worked, was a beautiful, beat up, 
old, wooden, official government issue desk.  With a name plate 
resting on top that read:
                 Special Agent
                DANA SCULLY, MD.

A single red rose lay in the center of the desk.

"Oh, Mulder," she whispered, biting her lip to control the tears 
that threatened her.  Of all the wonderful things he could have 
done to underscore his respect and faith in her, this was the 
best.  It was perfect.  

She'd never again mentioned the issue of a desk after the whole 
fiasco with Jerse and the tattoo; and it had always bothered her 
that he'd continued to deny her this simple symbol of their 
equality, when she had so clearly voiced her opinion on the 
subject to him.  She'd always assumed that his failure to grant 
her a desk, a permanent place in HIS cluttered basement world, 
was a testament to his lack of faith in her abilities.  She was 
just another nonbeliever sent to challenge his theories.  

Diana was the one who believed him.  He'd respected Diana for her 
beliefs in the supernatural and the paranormal.  Diana had once 
had a desk in this office.  That's what had originally prompted 
Scully to consider her true place in Mulder's life.  She'd seen a 
photo of Fowley where she was sitting behind a desk with her own 
nameplate on it.  At first she didn't think anything about it, 
until she realized where the photo had been taken.  The 
background was definitely that of the X-Files basement office.  
It had hurt her a great deal.  Her insecurities grew over the 
years.  It was only in the last couple of weeks that she had 
finally allowed herself to accept that Mulder might really be 
committed to her.  

This was a commitment all right.  She smiled.  He wanted her to 
know she belonged here.  She hurried over to the desk and seated 
herself in the well-worn chair.

On top of the desk there was a small key.  The investigator in 
her took over.  She immediately tried it out, unlocking the top 
center drawer and sliding it open.

"Oh my God!"  She couldn't believe what she'd found there.  She 
was afraid to touch it for the longest time.  Afraid it wasn't 
real.  No, of course it wasn't real.  None of this was.  This was 
just another dream.  She was still in her bed asleep.

Ah, well... it was a very good dream, anyway.  Might as well 
enjoy it while it lasts.  Reality will rear its ugly head soon 
enough... most likely in the form of an angry alarm clock.  Then 
her real day would begin.  Then this would all be gone.

"Mulder!" she called out, her eyes unable to leave the contents 
of the drawer, afraid if she did it would disappear.  "Mulder, 
you coward!  Where are you hiding?  Get out here!"

She heard heavy footsteps behind her and spun around to find him 
standing there, looking incredibly nervous and completely 
adorable.

Scully opened her mouth to speak several times before she was 
finally able to make the words come out.  "I... I don't know what 
to say, Mulder."

"God, please say yes."  She thought she could hear his heart 
pounding.  Maybe that was just hers.  

He swallowed hard.

She almost laughed, but caught herself.  "Of course, yes.  Jesus, 
did you actually think I'd say no?"

He sighed and his eyes sparkled when he smiled.  

Snatching up the diamond ring, Scully sprang out of the chair and 
rushed into his arms.  They kissed a long, slow, deep kiss and 
then he lifted her off the ground in a bear hug of an embrace.  

"God, I don't want to wake up," she whispered in his ear, the 
ring clutched tightly in her fist.

He chuckled against her neck. "I hope you still feel that way in 
fifty years, Scully." 



~END~



Life is too short to drink bad wine.