disclaimers and notes in (1/2)

No Regrets part 2 
by TBishop27@aol.com
Rated: NC-17
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



"It could have been us."  I tell him.

I see the flash of understanding in his eyes just 
before he closes them and bows his head.  

"I know," he says with a barely perceptible nod.  Then
he sighs and looks at me again.  He seems to consider
something which he dismisses quickly.  When he finally
lets go of my arm, I miss his touch.  

"But it wasn't.  They took risks... we don't."

I know he doesn't mean professionally.  "Do you honestly 
think it would have been any easier for me if I had lost 
you that night?"

He looks past me at the wall.  He's comfortable 
with walls.  We both are.  We've constructed them,
hidden behind them, and come up against enough of
them over the years.  "I don't know, Scully.  
Maybe.  I hope so anyway."

I shake my head.  "No.  I'd be shattered.  It doesn't
matter that we're not lovers, Mulder.  We're only
kidding ourselves if we think that's going to make
any difference at all.  She died with him that 
night, just as I would die with you," I paused, "My
heart would go on beating and my lungs would go
on breathing, but my soul...my soul would leave
with you."

There are tears in his eyes now, too.  "I don't 
know how to protect you then, Scully.  I've 
tried...God, it's been hard...but I've really 
tried to keep some distance between us. It's been 
damn near impossible at times.  And there have 
been moments when I went too far in the other 
direction and I hurt you by pushing you away.  But
Scully, I always believed it was the right thing 
to do.  I always had your best interest at heart.  I
thought you were happy with our friendship.  We could
be close, but not so close.  I thought...God!"  He 
pulls me into his arms and crushes me to him to 
in a desperate embrace. 

It's good to be in Mulder's arms.  I always feel 
safe here.  And now I understand this is really where
I want to be when I look for that feeling of 
security... when I look for my home.

Suddenly his words register.  He's been protecting
me?  Oh, my God.  I don't know whether to be furious 
or touched.  I vacillate between the two before settling 
somewhere in the middle.  "You can't protect me from 
my own heart, Mulder.  And even if you could, I wouldn't
want you to."

"Scully..."  He doesn't want to have this conversation.
He pulls away from me.  I see the turmoil in those 
chameleon eyes.

"No, Mulder!  I want to say this!  We've been dancing 
around this issue for years now!  I'm sick to death of
it!"

"I know.  I know.  But now isn't the time.  What 
happened this week has left us both a little shaken.
It's understandable.  It's better to wait until we've
both settled down before we deal with this... issue."  

I haven't failed to notice that we both referred to 
our feelings for one another as an 'issue'.  How 
typical.  And how sad.  But this is progress.  And 
I'll take what I can get.  We're talking, or at 
least *I'm* trying to.  Mulder is terrified and 
running for cover.  

"Wait until we've both settled down?  Don't you mean
come to our senses and reinforce the walls, Mulder?"

"Scully, please.  Don't do this.  Not now."

"When, Mulder?"  I can't let this go.  Not this time.
Not after all that's happened.  "When would be a good
time for you?  How about tomorrow?  Is tomorrow good?
Or would you prefer a year from tomorrow or five or 
ten?"

"Damn it, Scully!  Stop it!"  He's pacing like a 
wild animal trapped in a tiny cage.  I am bravely, 
or foolishly, blocking his escape.  He runs his fingers
through his hair and massages a stiff neck.

"The other night I came face to face with the 
consequences, and all I could think about was how
senseless it would be to suffer the pain of losing
you without ever knowing the pleasure of having you.
I hope the rumors were true about Dan and Nicole.  
I hope they were lovers and not just in love.  I'd 
hate to think her memories of him will all be clouded 
with regret."

He looks at me and I see something in his eyes he 
has never let me see before.  Desire.  That look 
he gives me sends a rush of heat to my center 
and takes my breath away.  He gives me no time to 
recover as he brings his mouth down to claim 
mine.  The lips I've longed to kiss are finally 
pressing hot and wet to my own.  He tastes... he 
tastes like Mulder.  Just like I always knew he 
would.  I know his flavor as if we had kissed a 
thousand times before.  His teeth tug at my lower 
lip and when I open my mouth in a gasp of pleasure,
his tongue invades.

This is simply the most incredible kiss anyone 
has ever given me... or taken from me.  I am totally 
swept away by his needful assault.  My own mouth 
hungrily counter attacks, my tongue caressing 
his in a sensuous dance that makes me forget all 
else save for the feeling of this moment.

One of Mulder's hands is now tangled in my hair, 
pressing me still closer into this passionate 
union. (As if I would pull away!)  Doesn't he realize
I'd sooner stop breathing than end this kiss?  I try 
to tell him, frantic hands of my own clawing at his 
coat.  

I am weak when he finally breaks our connection.  I
let my tongue roll across my swollen lips, tasting
the remnants of Mulder...  savoring every last drop
of him.  His face is just inches from my own.  His
breath, hot against my cheek.  For one perfect moment
I am lost in his eyes.

And then he speaks to me with a voice heavy with 
lustful intentions.  "Scully...I never want you to
have regrets when you think of me."

"Then stop protecting me, Mulder. And take me 
home... to my place or yours.  I don't care which,
I just want to be alone with you." 

"I've got a better idea.  If you don't mind a bit 
of a drive, there's someplace special I'd like to 
take you. This time of year it shouldn't be any 
problem getting a room.  I went to college with 
the son of the couple that runs the place.  What 
do you say to a seaside bed and breakfast and a 
weekend of no regrets?"

"Do you think after that kiss I'd say no?"  

His beautiful green eyes sparkle as he smiles a most
devilish grin.  "Why don't you go down and talk to
your mother.  Try to explain all this.  I'll call the
inn and make reservations and then we can swing by
both our places and pack a few things"

I can't believe it.  Mulder and I are finally going
to let this happen.  

*********************************************

As Mulder promised, the inn was worth the long
drive.  It was just after midnight when we finally 
arrived.  The couple that owned it were gracious
and sympathetic, telling Mulder over the phone that
they would leave the front door unlocked for our late 
arrival. The room would be waiting, first door to the
right at the top of the stairs. I was glad for the
privacy.  I felt a little self-conscious considering
they knew Mulder and I weren't husband and wife.  I'd
already had to face my mother's knowing stare after 
that scene at her house today.  

I think she heard a great deal more than she let on. She
practically shoved us both out the door in her delight.
And that hug she gave Mulder before we left... If that
wasn't obvious then I don't know what is.  Mulder is
now one of her boys.  I'm sure Bill will be thrilled.

This place is incredible.  It's a beautiful Itallianate
style Victorian on a bluff overlooking the sea.  Even
the dark night and foul weather could not disguise the
stately splendor of this historic home.  

We walk hand in hand up the long path to the house.  A
grand front porch greets us and Mulder takes the 
opportunity to steal another kiss before he opens 
the front door.  

Stepping over the threshold is like stepping back
in time.  The rooms are lavishly decorated with
authentic Victorian antiques. Rich fabrics trimmed
with braid and tassels adorn the windows. Elaborate 
paper and borders cover the walls.  Everywhere there
are trinkets and small collections of antiquities
displayed.  The only light comes from strategically
placed oil lamps.

It is so romantic.  So far from our real lives.  A
whole different world it seems.  I can think of no
place I'd rather be than here at this moment with
Mulder.

He leans over and whispers in my ear.  "Last chance
to change your mind."

I look at him, and I don't know if it's the old fashioned
atmosphere of this place or a part of me I never knew
existed,but suddenly I am shy.  Me, Dana Scully, shy.  Who
ever would have thought?  I'm glad for the vintage
lighting, maybe Mulder won't see the blush I feel creeping
up my cheeks.  

He's waiting for me to answer.

I shake my head and squeeze his hand to convey my
message. Offering what I hope is a confident smile. 

He leads me up the ornately carved, dark, walnut
staircase.  Everything's beautiful here, impeccable 
down to the last detail.  Our room is no exception.  
As Mulder shuts and locks the door behind us, I take 
a minute to look around at this luxurious suite.  

The bedroom is bathed in the warm glow from a fireplace 
that has been thoughtfully prepared and lit prior 
to our arrival and a variety of candles are placed 
along the mantle.  A king-sized ironwork bed, piled 
high with pillows and decked out in a fluffy down 
comforter, has already been turned back in anticipation 
of two partners who will, tonight, become lovers.  The 
sight of the bed, and the accompanying vision of me 
and Mulder tangled naked there, makes my pulse race.  

I nearly jump out of my skin when Mulder comes up 
behind me and wraps his arms around my waist.

"You okay, Scully?" he murmurs in my ear causing a 
shiver to scamper through my body.

I nod.  I don't think I've been able to speak three 
words in the last hour and I haven't the slightest 
idea why that would be.

"You're not nervous, are you?"

Am I?  Is that what this is?  I don't know why I 
should be.  I trust Mulder completely.  Maybe I'm 
just afraid my relative lack of experience is going 
to horribly disappoint him.  "I've only been with four 
men in my life, Mulder.  Three of those were one night 
stands.  The other, though it was a longer relationship, 
was not very satisfying sexually.  You do know it was 
Jack who dubbed me with the endearing title of Ice 
Queen, don't you?"  

Did he really need to know all that?  God, Dana, you 
must be nervous.  

He starts to nibble on my ear and I can't help the 
moan that escapes my lips.  "On behalf of all virile
men around the world, Scully, I humbly apologize 
for the inadequacies, and obvious bad manners, of 
Jack Willis."  He returns to his nibbling.  His hands, 
however, are no longer content to stay wrapped around
my middle.  Before my 
preoccupied mind can catch up, Mulder is slipping my 
coat off my shoulders, never once pausing in his 
ministrations.  He lets it fall to the floor, then 
similarly removes my blazer.  

His mouth is wandering now, moving down my neck 
with gentle nips and hot, wet kisses that make me 
melt back against his body.  I close my eyes and 
surrender to the pleasure.  My partner's fingers 
begin unfastening the buttons on my blouse.  

"You gonna...take that gun off, G-woman, or...do I 
have to disarm you myself?"  He mumbles between kisses.  

I have to leave him just briefly to place my gun on the 
dresser.  When I turn back to him, he is sitting on the
edge of the bed beginning to undress himself.  He grins 
at me.  "Come to bed, Scully."  He commands.

That look is back in his eyes again.  The one that melted 
my insides into a puddle of wanton lust.  I feel that 
stirring return inside me, an ache, a need.  Moving 
around to the other side of the bed, I quickly finish 
undressing, letting my clothes fall forgotten to the 
floor.  I slip under the covers. Mmmm... Absolute 
heaven.  I love the cool, soft feel of fresh sheets 
against my bare skin.  

It is only a matter of seconds before Mulder slides
into bed next to me.  He moves closer until our bodies
are touching.  I don't back away but Mulder senses my
trepidation.  

"Still feeling nervous?"

"First time jitters."  I concede.

"Would that it were true, Scully."  He sighs and begins 
playing with a strand of my hair.

"You know what I mean."  I roll my eyes.  

He presses his mouth close to my ear and whispers,
"Getting wet a little at a time only heightens the 
anxiety.  Better to jump in with both feet."  And 
then he kisses the palm of my hand before taking it 
under the covers and placing it on his throbbing hard 
erection.  We both moan at the contact.  Mulder's 
hand continues to guide mine, closing my fingers 
around his shaft and coaxing a slow steady rhythm 
up and down his length.  His hips begin to move 
and his grip tightens around my hand.

He's right.  I'm relaxing already.  "You know, Mulder,
I was All State high dive champion my junior and
senior years of high school."

He bites his lower lip and whimpers.  "Hurt me, woman."

I give him my best arched brow then disappear under
 the covers. 

I can honestly say I've visualized on numerous 
occasions going down on Fox Mulder.  Like every 
time he leans back in that desk chair of his, wearing
those damn sexy Armani slacks, shirt sleeves rolled up, 
sucking on the end of a pencil as that brilliant and
spooky mind of his contemplates our latest case.  Or
when he's sprawled out across his leather couch,
after hours, wearing my favorite gray tee shirt 
and those tight black jeans that never fail to
elicit a response within my own Calvin Kleins.

Oh, yeah.  I've wanted to do this for a long time.

First I need to get rid of my little helper.  I 
take Mulder's thumb in my mouth and tease him with a 
few suggestive licks, sucking and letting it slide in 
and out so he gets the idea.  Then I use my teeth to 
pull his hand away discarding it at his side.  Now 
that I don't have to share anymore, I take him in 
both my hands and allow myself the enjoyment of just 
holding his glorious manhood.  Very nice.  Very nice 
indeed.  I am drawn to taste him and I allow my tongue 
freedom to wander.  Using my fingernails to gently 
trace patterns over his most sensitive places, I 
explore Mulder's hot spots, the locations I want 
to remember to come back to again and again.  Every 
time my tongue or fingernails hit just the right 
place I am rewarded with a thrust and a muffled moan 
from somewhere up above the covers.  When I finally 
decide I've done enough investigating, I get serious 
about my work.  I let my mouth close over him, 
continuing as I do so to use my tongue to tickle 
and caress.

I feel a rush of cool air as Mulder suddenly 
decides he needs to watch, and tosses the blankets 
aside.  My mouth full, I use my eyes to smile at 
him.  I find having an audience extremely erotic.  
Suddenly, I can't get enough.  I take him deep into
my mouth, sucking hard, humming with pleasure, nearly 
swallowing him in my thirst for more.

"Jesus, Scully..."  His head falls back against the 
pillows; and I know, I own him right now.  It's either 
been far too long since he's had the pleasure, or my 
eagerness to please him has affected my performance 
for the better because he is literally shaking from 
my efforts.  I slide one hand up over his muscled 
abdomen, running my fingers through the hairs on his 
chest and teasing his nipples with my fingernails.  
He grabs my wrist with passion driven intensity 
as his hips continue to rock in response to my 
attention.  He grips me violently, his body reacting 
instinctually and primitively as he nears his climax.  

"Scu..lly."  He moans and I feel his fingers 
bruising my skin as his body stiffens and his pulsing 
member spills into me.  I do not relent until I 
have taken him dry.

He tugs my arm and I release him, crawling up to 
settle in at his side.  I look up at him and quirk 
a brow.

"Damn, woman!"  He grins.  

"I'll take that as a compliment, Mulder."

"Oh, I can show my appreciation better than that, 
honey."  He quips.  And then I suddenly find myself 
on my back, Mulder straddling and pinning me to the 
mattress.  His leering eyes travel up and down my 
naked body.  He makes me feel so beautiful the way 
that he looks at me. 

I am ready.  I want him desperately.  He's making 
me wait too long.  "Mullderr..."  I whine.  "What 
are you waiting for?"

He chuckles.  "Patience, Scully.  The night is 
young...which, unfortunately, your partner is not."

"Oh."  I guess I can wait a little while longer.  After 
all, I've been waiting seven years, haven't I? In my 
zealousness I forgot that all important rule of thumb 
we women quickly learn to live by.  Me first. It really 
has been too long.  I'll remember that next time.

"There are many ways a man can show a woman his 
appreciation, Scully.  If you'll indulge me, I'd 
like to show you a few."  He doesn't wait for my 
answer.

He slides down the bed.  All the way down until he 
is kneeling at my feet where he begins a sensuous 
massage and what I can only describe as worship.  
I never realized before how incredibly arousing 
it is to have someone rub your feet.  I guess the 
fact that we're both naked has something to do with 
it too.  Mulder is very good at this.  Putting pressure 
in all the right places and caressing softly the more 
sensitive areas.

"I've always had a thing about your feet."  He confesses 
as he studies each toe with fascination.  

"Mulder, if you're going to tell me your a foot 
fetishist..."

He laughs and nips at my big toe.  "Only a Dana Scully foot fetishist. 

They're so tiny and perfect...right down to your little toes.  I love 
that you paint your toenails with that burgundy wine colored polish."

"It's Bogota Blackberry."  I tell him.

"It's very sexy, Scully.  So are those amazing 
shoes you wear. You've got to be the only G-woman 
in the history of the FBI who can run in a pair of 
five inch heels."

He stops talking and runs his tongue over my toes.

"You're driving me crazy."  I groan as he starts 
sucking on my big toe.  He refuses to stop until he 
has attended each digit, leaving me squirming and 
unbelievably turned on.

He begins kissing his way up, parting my legs and 
running his hot tongue along my inner thigh.  I gasp 
and clench the bed sheets in my fists when he plows 
his mouth into my center.  He looks up at me, his face 
half buried in red curls, and waggles his eyebrows.  
I swear I'll kill myself if I wake up and discover 
this is just another one of my naughty Mulder-dreams.

"God!"  His tongue is separating my folds, tracing the delicate tissue 
and sending shock waves through my body.  I feel myself dripping with 
desire.  Mulder quickly laps up the evidence of his affect on me.  
That tongue of his plays mercilessly with my sex until I am weak and 
helpless, whimpering from the pleasure of it.  My body spasms with 
each pass of his tongue.  With gentle but firm pressure Mulder holds 
my hips down to the bed so he can manipulate me more easily.  It's 
sweet torture, that's what he is doing to me.  I can't take any more 
of it, and I hope he never stops.

His hands knead at my flesh.  He starts to suck on that 
part of my most desperate need.

"Please...Mulder, please."  I pant.

He sucks harder, ignoring my words.

"God!  Mulder!  God..please!"  I don't even know what 
it is I'm begging him for.  Please stop?  Please don't 
stop?  Please do... something, anything before I 
breath anymore.

Mulder does.

His teeth clamp down on me and I am lost. "Ohhh!"  An 
explosion of ecstasy hits me with brut force.  He stays 
with me, riding out the waves until the last ripples 
have finally subsided.
  
"Damn, G-man."  I mutter breathless as he climbs up 
my body hovering once again as before.

"I'll take that as a compliment."  He kisses me and 
I can taste myself on his lips.

"I want you inside me, Mulder."  I pull him back down 
for another kiss.

He lowers his body onto mine and I thrill at the feel 
of his powerful presence within my slickened folds.  We 
look into each other's eyes and he penetrates completely.  

"This is where I belong,"  he tells me, his voice rough
and sexy.

He'll get no argument from me.  Having Mulder inside me
feels right, like we were always meant to be this way.  
It strikes me that I've never known this with another
man.  This is beyond intimacy.  This is love.  Mulder 
is making love to me.  "No one has ever made love to 
me, Mulder."  I tell him of my insight.

He understands.  "Let me be the first," he whispers 
against my cheek.

Our pace is slow, initially, as we enjoy the new 
sensation of our union.  He fills me and I can feel
him pulsing against my inner walls.  I am hypersensitive,
acutely aware of each thrust and draw.  We move together
until Mulder's need compels him to increase both rhythm
and intensity.  My counter thrusts cease, useless, as
he drives into me with animal fervidity.  His efforts 
coax another orgasm from my center and I cry out to him.


"God!  Oh..God, Mulder!"

He continues pumping faster and harder, striving 
towards his goal, seeking release from the urgent
pressure building within his groin.  I wrap my legs
around his hips giving him deeper access.  He lifts 
me off the bed with each new claim, taking more and
more until I have nothing left to give.  And then
he goes rigid; with three shuddering breaths he
comes.  His head falls forward and sweat soaked
hair brushes against my cheek.  

I trace my finger tips over the glistening skin of
his back.  My heart is pounding wildly as my breathing
slowly returns to normal.  Our surroundings come back
into my awareness again.  The crackle of the fire,
the glow of the candles, even the howl of the wind 
outside and the patter of the rainfall as it hits the 
window panes.  

Mulder hums contentedly, nuzzling my neck and planting
kisses along my jaw line.  Then he rolls onto his back,
taking me with him.  I rest my cheek on his chest, 
listening to the fast steady beat of my lover's heart.

We lay there together in each other's arms for a long 
time, neither of us saying a word.  It is the most 
contented moment I have ever known.  Mulder has given 
me the strength to face the future again.  There are
no guarantees in life and especially in our line of
work.  I don't know how much time we'll ultimately have
together.  We may have a long and happy life or either 
one of us could die tomorrow.  But, now I know that 
the one of us who survives and is forced to suffer 
on alone, can do so sustained on memories untainted
by regret.



                        ~END~




Life is too short to drink bad wine.