**al and Legolas**
You have just described to me a parent's worst nightmare. Thank the Valar it's
never happened to me but I actually did see a woman in WalMart frantically
looking for her child...who was only the next aisle over and all ended well but
the panic! I felt so badly for her.
Fish! He's been looking at fish! LOL. Uh oh al, you'd best keep Legolas under
wraps...too many leering looks directed his way...sounds like one of my PWP's!
One more chapter and I'm caught up!
Yay! I love this chapter too!
I know, mirrors rule.. and so do fishes! I mean I saw one that was this big!
*speads out hands* But try not to get into so much trouble ok??
Very well written, and Legolas's accent makes me laugh every time!
**Ithinkineedanewname: Dey maek feeshuz dat beeg? Da wonz I saaew wear onlee dis
beeg * hoeldz up a teiny biet of aer beatwean heez feengrz.* I wuz noet in ani
truble, an I WUZ NOET LOEST, I tale u! al sez tael u Thaenkz.**
(The Two Princesses)
We really like your story al and think it's very funny. We are glad that Legolas
is staying with you a bit longer and wasn't able to go back. Because we want to
hear some more of his adventures at your house. Please keep him for as long as
We love the way you talk Legolas and try to copy it. It makes us laugh. Where
can we get Keebler Elf cookies - we wants some too - can you send us some to
**The Two Princesses: Woew! I goet a reeveew frum TUU Prancissez at da saem
tiem! Bud whut iz soe fuenny abot da wae I taelk? U wuld like elf kuukiez, eben
doe dey doen't luuk muech like elfs I doen't thank. Tael ur Moem hae fur me,
Oh! I got the superman reference! Was there another? It's cos OB said that he
saw superman and then went into the acting for the girls! Oh, hang on - you know
Legolas! Hi *sends hug back cos am in super hyper mood despite it being 23:30
here* I've stopped crying now! And I'm warm too.... I'm not surprised you got
lost in walmart! We don't have them in England, but I went to one in the US -
and it was HUGE! Just a word of advice.... don't try and eat the little pretty
fishies! Bye for tonight! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Al - what are Keebler elf cookies?? Thankyou for them... but I don't know what
they are! He he! I am so happy because I got a university offer to study English
literature in Sheffield, and I am going to tell THE WORLD (and all of Middle
**Magical Rachel: Congrae. . .Coengr. . . Koengrat. . .*siehs* I shure am
haeppie u ar goen tu Sheffield. Dat eez a wunnerful thang. Weel u bea yaellin
'Goe Blaedz!'? Yaes, dere wuz anuthr reafrance, but al sez tael u it iz a vizuel
an sea if u fiend it.**
You know, it no easy thing finding someone in Wal-Mart. Many a time have I lost
my little sister only to find out that she was scoping out boys in the little
cafe thingy. Al, when I came over here to England, I found that they had these
leashes (for lack of a better word) for kids. Never really saw anyone use them
in the US..but anyway. THey're like little harnesses that you put on your 3 year
old so they can walk around but you have the ability to snap the little bugger
back if he tries to wander off. Perhaps you and Legolas...lol. (Just kidding
Legolas, I know you're a big Elf now and don't need to be tethered to Al...but
you know for HER reassurance it might be helpful.) tee hee hee. :) Hey, AL,
whilst at Wal-Mart, you could have gotten him a Legolas action figure, then he
could play with himself. *thinks to herself "I can't believe I went there."*
**Stimpy, formerly Joy Took: I mite culd uze won of dose thangz on al! Dat eez a
guud ideea. I weel taek da won she haz fur da doeggie neckz tiem we goe. al haz
2 akshun feegurez of me, but I kinnot plae wid misef, she woent laet me.**
So the big-bodyless voice did talk to Legolas... Do you like the fish? Next
chapter Legolas... we will learn about cell phones... And then we can call each
other! I'll give you my schedule so you can make sure it's during algebra...
Hey Al! Cell phone idea is goood... Cecil has a cell phone too! But Cecil is
also a very mean elf who eats your cookies... if you do get Legolas a cellphone
can you give me the number? I will call him with mine in the middle of school
when I get bored...
**Sake: I luv tu wach da feesh! Noew al noez tu luuk fore me dere whin she gitz
loest en Waelmaert. Hear iz my salepone thang nuember: 555-1234. . . noe wade,
itz 555-4567. . . noe, dat iz noet rite, itz. . . . oh, nebermiend.**
Nothing scares you. *cough* Right. Listen, hottie, I could hear you yelling from
here. And that is saying something. And yes, I think that they WOULD dare. To
the amusement of us all, I am sure.
**laure: weel, mebbe a Naezgool. Bud oenly a leedle biet. Den I wuld cael al an
Ada tu saev me, tea hea!**
Oh, yes, cell phone in the pocket is a very good idea! Don't want Leggy-poo to
get lost again, do we?
Legsy, I think your hair would look really nice in a pony tail. Or with
dredlocks. You should try some different styles.
There once was an Elf, name of Legolas
Jealous men often said he looked like a lass
But in truth, he did not
He was really quite hott
And had such the cutest tight little @$$!
Al, I wonder what would happen if you brought Leggikins onto FF.N? I wonder what
he'd think of all those slash stories....
**Newmoon: *asuemz fuul elvin worrier poesture* U doent waent tu meass wid da
hare. Whut iz a tite leddle @$$? *al whispers in Legolas' ear* *Legolas
Greetings Legolas Elvellon! Tree said that I can start this time. :) That smile
is for you. I understand about being confused by that colored underwear, but
they have very strange customs here, don't they? Elvellon, you should never
wander off without telling someone where you are going. That is not a good
thing. Nate got lost in the Walmart once and that was not fun! Did al lecture
you about it? Tree lectured Nate for a long time!
*Tree pushes Elu out of the seat* It is very scary to lose someone in a store
that big, so of course he got lectured at, and it hasn't happened since. So
Legolas always tell someone where you are going. al doesn't want any more grey
hairs and that will do it every time!
Sorry but I did LOL over your panic, even though I understand it. Trying to
think where they will go is what we all do, but they are never in the logical
places! Again LOL to the scruffy-looking, dark haired man...Araporn perhaps??
*snicker* I thought looking in the Barbie section was a good idea too, Pip!
*Elu reaches around Tree to type* I do not understand all this Araporn stuff, do
you, Legolas Elvellon? Tree just tells me "Don't ask. Don't ask." Also tell your
Ada that I send greetings to the aran brannon. I also do not understand why he
keeps talking about the Noldor like that when he talks to you in these
reviews.*scratches his head and looks confused* Do you know why?
This is Tree again. Legolas likes those strappy eveningwear sandals?? Okay....;)
al those people must tell jokes about you at Walmart. Warrior Woman searching
for long haired dude with pointy ears. LOL It is not funny that he was "lost", I
guess you didn't even realize you were lost, did you, Legolas? But since we know
he is okay, it is good to view it in a different light. Whoa, darling! Policemen
AND firemen! You brought the whole town out for the event, didn't you!
*Elu starts typing again* Bubba, Fred, Junior, and Billy Bob. What strange names
the people in your town have, al. Legolas is a much better name than Billy Bob,
though it is fun to say Billy Bob. :) That is me smiling. Tree is laughing now.
She says she didn't remember al telling you to tuck your hair inside your hat
either. She also says that al's memory of what Legolas was wearing was not too
good, but she says that panic will do that. But I do not understand why she is
laughing at your hat. What is Viagra? She just tells me nevermind. I do not
understand these modron erth people sometimes. *shakes his head and gives the
keyboard back to Tree*
Well, al. I do not know how you could forget the Viagra on the hat! ROFL So
Legolas is your "pretty boy", is he?? *snicker* I knew it!
*Elu grunts and pushes Tree out of the chair* What is this about a "pretty boy"?
I do not like the look on Tree's face when she was typing it. What does al do
with her "pretty boy"? This is very confusing. Why do all those people think you
are al's "pretty boy"? You are very pretty - er Tree says to change that to
handsome. I don't know. You are pretty, so I will leave it. Hmmm...Is that what
Irena wants you for? So you can be her pretty boy? And that Nancing Elf, too.
What is a "nancing" elf?? And who is that PuterPatty. Boy, you sure have a lot
of people that want you to be their "pretty boy"! You have a cell phone, al?
Tree doesn't have one yet. Her husband hasn't gotten her one yet, though
sometimes it might come in handy, she says. Legolas knows how to answer a phone,
doesn't he? Maybe not, since you would find him by its ringing.
Oh, no. She is bawling again...though she says that bawling is not as good a
word for it as weeping. *shrugs* It looks like she is bawling to me. Less than a
month. THat is not a very long time. Are you really certain that you have to go,
Legolas Elvellon? I don't know what al would do without you. It sounds like you
make her life very exciting. Here is Tree again. I have to go and wash the red
hankies again. Namarie, Elvellon.
Oh, al. I am trying not to cry over the fact that time is ever so short, but I
know that it is. You haven't thought of a way to keep him yet? If not WHY
NOT?!?! I know. I know. He wants to go home and he needs to help "save Middle
Earth". They certainly can't do it without him! Perhaps by December 18 I will be
over the "bawling" stage. We shall see. Oh, Legolas! I truly wish you did not
have to go! Okay, I am done with this review. All my red hankies are wet! *sobs
onto Elu's chest*
This is Elu. There she goes again. Write another adventure for us soon, al. At
least she was laughing part of the time in this one, before the bawling. C U
later. :) That is for you, al!
Elenath sila erin le!
**TreeHugger: Hae Trea! Hae Elu! Trea is da Quean of. . . whut wuz dat, al? *uh,
she's the Queen of a lot of things. Irena calls her the Prom Queen, let's see,
she's the Orc Queen, uhmmm Queen of Lost Arguments, was that it Tree? *
Araporn-iznt dat hoew he spaellz it? An I wuz NOET LOEST!!! I wuz in frunt of da
feesh laeks da hoel tiem. Eberybuddy noez dat Viagra iz da naem of da maen whoe
paez fur Mark Martin'z NASCAR raece kar! Elu, she jest duznt noe whut da haet iz
all abot. U godda have a haet at dese raece thangz, tu keap da ruebbr tier peecz
out of ur hare. I hav a loet of perty, so I gess I kin bea a perty elfboy fur a
loet of peepl at da saem tiem.**
*compassion hug* You're not alone -- apparenly I put on my underwear on the
outside when I was first learning to dress myself. Not that you don't know how..
It's a good thing Elves don't get sick. Cuz what would happen if you had to see
the doctor. How would you or al explain your appearance, or the lack of sound
your footsteps make? Somehow, I don't think 'Switzerland' would cut it...
**Loopy4_1: My aparence? Weel, I feal frum abot 6 feat uep at da moovee theeter.
All da dokturz een towen noe al, kuz all dere kidz ar een her plaez at da
theeter, an I sea dem all da tiem.**
Oh blast! Sorry I didn't leave a note for the last chapter, Legolas. Jeez, a
'beeg' elf like you actually wore your underwear outside. And you got yourself
lost. Poor al must have been so worried. Oh yes, she was worried. *Sigh* You're
going back soon, aren't you? Can't you stay? But still, Middle Earth won't be
Middle Earth without you... But the way I see it, Middle Earth won't be Middle
Earth without Frodo, or sam and the others. And almost every fanfic writer
imagines their favourite character in their head too. So we have lots of
Frodo-doubles, Sam-doubles, Merry-doubles, yes, even Legolas-doubles around.
Gimli lives with me too. He's currently hunting my brother down for calling him
'game-li'. And for mud pies. He likes mud pies. He likes Mesg. Do you like malt
beer? Tastes like oatmeal, doesn't it? Oh dear, I wish I wouldn't ramble on and
Hey al, I love the way you hug Legolas. Hee hee. Hug him for me please.
**Seaweed: Dose ar da pertiest uendrwaer! I never had a pare like dem beafour. U
noe whin u ware leagginz all da tiem, everybuddy kin sea ur paentie lienz if u
ware uendrwaer. Mite az weel ware dem on da ouetsied if u ax me. Game-li,
BWWAHHHAAAAHHAHA! Harez a hueg fu u *huegz* **
Al, he doesn't have to go back December 18! No, uhh... *whispers because
Thranduil is out of the room at the moment, but he DOES have those Elven
ears...* he can come over here to my place. His father wants to see him.
*wiggles eyebrows* yeah that's right, his father wants to see him...
Legolas!! Honeybun!! Your Ada says you are not to go back into the movie, we'll
send a young actor who looks like you, because the Elven-King of Mirkwood has
summoned you to come to attend upon him, and YOU know what THAT means!! So you
have to spend another year with all of us, until Return of the King comes out.
Oh, and your Ada wants to type something...
"Tithen emlin, you have GOT to watch out for that Irena woman, I think she's a
Black Numenorean hedge witch. (grin) Anyone who wants to come after you with a
net and a rope can NOT be having your best good at heart! I want you to report
here to Jasta's palace in Fairfax, Virginia, as soon as you can. I simply MUST
have a long talk with you about the wiles of women. I know I can count on your
obedience. Right? I said, RIGHT???"
Wow, Legolas, your Ada can sure yell... Better bring Elu with you. (grin)
**JastaElf: *swuunz* She kalled me Hunibuen!! Duz Ada noe ani yung aktorz dat
luuk like me? An u ar rite, Ada, wemin due taek a whiles! Sumtiemz al iz soe
sloe I donno if we ar ever goena git feenishd wid. . .ah. . .stueff. Yeaeh,
stuff. Nuember tu oen dat leist of thaeng I wuld noet due muest be: Doen't bea
en a huerry whin al sez it is tiem tu due "stuef."**
I get lost in Walmart too. It is an evil, evil place and it makes you spend all
you money entirely too quickly.
I can't wait to see you. Florida is down. Way down.
**IRENA: I THOT OF U WILE YEAS DEER WUZ WACHIN DA VEEKTOREEA'S SEEKRIT SHOEW!!
Due u hav eni weengz like dat? Mebbe u culd fiend sum laeft ober frum Haelowean
at Waelmaert, an ware dem jest fur me? Pleeze? Com oen baebee, Ona tu a'amin!
Hi Legolas! *hugs* I really liked this chapter. And I know I'm going to have
mental images of it in my head the next time I'm at Walmart.
**SarWolf Snape: Stae klose tu da othr peepl u goe tu Waelmaert wid soe u doen't
loose dem. Peepl teand tu git loest ez hear on Modren erth.**
(Katherine The Celt)
LOL. You stay away from those fics, Leggy! Especially the Mary Sue ones. Scary,
I tell you! We wouldn't want you to go into shock and wind up in a coma, now
would we? Nope!
**Katherine: Due U perfer me wid Araporn or Marry Suew? I kiend of leke bean a
'full human warrior woman mode' --LOL--I think i may have to invest in padding
my room so that when I fall off of my chair in fits of laughter I don't hurt
myself so much. I don't want Legolas to go...I will miss him so much...hey
Legolas---did Al let you take home a little lake with fishies in it? And
speaking of fish, Do you go like to go fishing? Or don't elves eat fish?
**gershwin: Deed u git a bruise faellin oef ur chaer lik dat? al sed we bedder
noet trie a feesh laek, beakaz we hav foer katz een da houez whoe wuld eet dem.
I LUV Charelstin She Kraeb Suup, egspesially da stuef dat comz in da leedle cuep
dat u poar een beafour u eat it. *that is sherry, for all of you who don't know
about the richness and warmth of She Crab Soup, emphasis on warmth especially
after you pour in the sherry* **
Oh the joys of Walmart. I worked at a Walmart once--Toys and Pets, too. It
sucked. Stupid teenage boys would find it very fun to play Nerf Wars in the
aisles. And the fish just stank. But hey, if I had a customer like Legolas
looking over the fish, life would not have been so bad.
I was seriously worried there for a minute, al, that you would never find him
again. You're lucky that Irena or I weren't shopping at your Walmart that day,
he would have definitely been elf-napped!
Hey Legolas, how *you* doing? I'm glad you survived your trip to Walmart. What's
in store for you next? (Pardon the pun, I really didn't mean it.) And you know
what a long shank is, elfboy. You showed me the other night. ;D
**Puter Patty: *hiedz nerf guen behiend bak* al sez she iz glaed u an Irena wear
not dere at Waelmaert tu. She sez dat is a woers nitemaer dan da steenkie
smaelly maen geddin me! *blueshez agin at da thot fo da loeng shaenk shoew* **
That would NOT be a fun situation... lost elf in Walmart o_O And a Viagra hat?
Oh dear... such a good thing he has not idea what that means. And yes, the fish
are cool, Legolas! ;D
**Arilyn: Dat al eez sumptin aelse! Ebery dae iz a neu advantuer fur me wid her.
I donno whut she deed wid hersef beafour I caeem aloeng. I due tu noe ael abot
Viagra! He iz da maen whoe paez all da beelz fur Mark Martin's raecin kar teem.
Goe Nuembr Seax!**
I'm confused - how tall was he when he came out of the screen? When did he
suddenly become six feet tall? This entire time I've been picturing him at about
two or three feet...
**Lady Eirte: I em fuul groen at almoest 6 feat tael. Elves ar vary flaxibel u
noe. An elf wuld have tu bea in oerder to bea seant aleong on a treep wid a
dwaerf an a Raengr dat doen't noe whut dey ar doin haf da tiem.**
**Princess ArWen of sMirkwood: Won dae u weel ketchup to us hear, an weel sea
dis noet I hoep. I em glaed u joyend us!**
Back To the Story: Chapter Fifteen