The Call of Death must be Answered 
 Author: Minka 
 
PG-13 
Angst/Drama 
Dark AU where Legolas is struck by grief after Gandalf's death. Will 
Aragorn be able to save him or will he pass on? NOT SLASH and not like 
most. Is based lightly on a true story and has lots of suffering.

Ok, this is a dark AU, which is based lightly on a personal 
experience, just from the other side of the incident. If you don’t 
like dark writing then this isn’t the story to read. Also, there is a 
conversation in Sindar that is rather long, so for those of you who 
don’t know much, when it comes to that bit just scroll down the page 
to the bit labeled ‘In English.’ Here I have put the whole thing, 
(just copied the text and put in words in English so it will read just 
like the story.) It just seemed too important not to have it in 
Sindar. I wrote this with tears in my eyes, so please let me know if 
there is anything really wrong with it, or if I should take it down. 
Normally I would say that I hope you enjoy this, but it’s not that 
kinda story.



The Call of Death must be Answered.



A silver tear trickled down a pale face, leaving a gleaming tail in 
its wake. It ran over a high cheekbone, following the path the tears 
before it had left. It stopped near the corner of a quivering mouth, 
where the lips pressed themselves together to stop the loud choking 
sobs that rose up in the throat, threatened to make themselves heard. 
The tear lingered here a moment, waiting for its’ shinning tail to 
catch up to it, collecting all of the salty substance it could, 
waiting to fall. It swelled up, getting bigger and bigger, until 
finally gravity took its toll and it fell. Down it went and while 
leaving the pale face behind, it started to pick up speed. Then 
without warning it exploded. The tears’ life over, it shattered like 
glass upon a tree branch. On the very spot where those that flowed 
before it fell.

I did not see its demise, but I knew it happened. I could feel it 
shatter, fell the slight vibration it sent through that tree I’m 
perched in.

The moment the tear left my eye, the moment it was born, I felt it 
knew of its death. It was unavoidable, there was nothing it or I could 
do to stop that moment from coming to pass. And it knew it, it *knew* 
yet it still went forth, setting out on its journey, aware of what 
would befall it.

Another tear slipped from my eye, taking the same path and ending and 
fate as the last. It then occurred to me that once one fell, the rest 
would follow, no matter how hard they tried, they would all share the 
same fate. Death.

Lothlórien holds no beauty for me anymore. Its golden trees, once so 
bright in my eyes, have faded, faded to look like the dark lands of 
Mordor itself. The songs that rise form the Elves are nothing but 
meaningless sounds, all jumbled together, not making sense. I know of 
what they sing, they sing of death, death of a great good yet hope 
still rising and triumphing over the darkness threatening to swallow 
as all.

But I have no hope, and never will again. My throat tightens as the 
sobs try harder to pass through my lips. But I can fight it no more, 
and the cries come clamorously, broken by gasps for air when I feel my 
lungs empty. Tears are born and sent to their death quicker and 
quicker, but I no longer feel the vibration of their passing as I am 
shaking too much.

The shaking, oh Elbereth the shaking. It won’t stop. I lift my hands, 
and look upon them with horror. At first glance I see that they are 
covered in blood, bright and red, dripping down my arms, glistening as 
it flows onto my tunic, staining it a rusty red. But it is not my 
blood, it is that of a friend, a dear friend only just lost. One that 
I should have done more to save, to stop him from having to face his 
fate alone and unaided.

At this sight I cry out, squeezing my eyes closed tightly, willing it 
to leave. After what seems like years I again open my eyes, and see my 
hands, clean and blood free. *Clean* yet still they shake. My steady 
hands, hands that when paired with my bow and arrow never miss their 
target, and yet they shake beyond control, like leaves in a breeze.

The sobs are coming faster and louder now and only through luck did I 
have to take a breath when I heard it.

“Legolas? Where are you?” came a voice below my tree. Aragorn. Aragorn 
had come looking for me. I bit my bottom lip, tasting blood, in order 
to stop the sobs. I didn’t want him to find me, not like this.

As blood flows down my throat from my lip, I look at my friend. He 
looks scared and frantic, searching everywhere with his eyes. ‘eyes 
almost as keen as an Elfs'’ I thought as I move closer to the trunk of 
the tree I sit in, concealing myself further from his view.

“Legolas?” he calls again, my name choking his voice. I realize that 
he is scared for me. That he is frantically looking for me, and as I 
peer into the darkness I—‘dark?’ I look to the sky. The sun had long 
set in the west cloaking the world in a thick black and I hadn’t even 
noticed. ‘Have I really been here this long?’ I had climbed this tree 
midmorning and had not left it once, but now the moon was high in the 
sky and a handful of stars shone through the dark and heavy clouds.

A sob burst from Aragorn s’ lips and I turn my attention quietly back 
on him. He is crying now, I can see his tears flow in the moonlight, 
yet he still searches for me.

“Legolas? Do not do this! Do not hide form me! Don’t shut yourself 
away because of what happened!” he cried out and again I had to bit my 
lip so not to cry out to him. “Legolas, Mithrandir would not wish you 
to do this!”

‘Mithrandir!’ At the mention of his name I could not fight it any 
longer. A dreadful scream fills my ears. A scream that comes from my 
own mouth and I clutch for my heart. I see Aragorn spin around and 
look up at me, a look of pure terror is in his eyes, but I have no 
time for him.

My scream has not yet stopped and I couldn’t make it do so. But my 
heart, my heart pulls my attention away from my mouth. It burns like 
fire, it feels crushed, crushed by the weights of time, of pain and 
sorrow. I feel it intensify and the word around me spin.

“LEGOLAS!” my ears are ringing from my now silent scream, but I still 
hear Aragorn calling my name, desperately trying to get my attention. 
Yet it does not work, and as the world blurs beyond comprehension, I 
feel myself falling.

“NO!” I hear Aragorns'’ distressed voice again. But he has no time to 
try and break my fall and I land hard, pain jolting through my entire 
body. I cry out in surprise and agony, crushing my eyes closed to try 
and hide it. Sobs and gasps come uncontrollably and I then feel 
something.

A touch. A hand has grasped my face gently. I feel another move from 
my shoulder down my arm while the other tenderly pats my face trying 
to get me to open my eyes.

“Look at me Legolas, please open your eyes!” Aragorn pleads with me.

I am aware that I am still crying out, but I force myself to breathe 
and to open my eyes. “Aragorn?” I question, shocked at the strain on 
my voice.

“I am here my friend, I’m here.” He soothes while gently moving me 
into his arms. I welcome the warmth and the comfort I find there and 
it eases my aching body slightly. But not my heart.

I know what is going to happen and I know, just like my tears did, 
that I could do nothing to stop it. I look into Aragorns' grey eyes, 
and I see them wet with tears yet filled with confusion. I stare at 
him, my eyes tell him the words I can’t seem to find.

After only a moment, realization hits him, his face turned from 
concerned to distraught, but somehow he managed to find words, choked 
as they were, but still words.

“Legolas don’t! Don’t do it, not that, you can fight it, I know you 
can!”

He is wrong, I can’t do this anymore, I can’t stop the grief that has 
befallen me. It is too much to handle and weighs too heavily on my 
heart.

I raise my hand to touch his face, and he grasps it, holding it close 
to his cheek. As he looks into my eyes a look of understanding comes 
over him and it is reflected in his still weeping eyes. I know he 
understands why I have to go, he knows the pain I’m in, and he is 
aware of my choice. He managed to say my name again while brushing 
hair from my face.

My heart feels as if it is shattered, or worst, being pulled form my 
body, and I know there isn’t much time left.

“Aragorn?” I said through sobs, “promise me something.”

“Anything Legolas, anything.” His voice was just above a whisper.

“Promise me that you be able to do what I could not.” My sentence 
trailed off as a sharp pain rips through me, he pulls me closer, 
leaning my head against his shoulder, holding on to me like he was an 
anchor, keeping me in this world. “Promise me that you will be strong 
and will lead the fellowship on” I continued, “and that you will find 
the hope I could not. Gar Estel anna n i Elenath sila! [Have hope as 
long as the stars shine]”

One of his tears falls on my face, “I promise I will, Legolas, I 
promise.” I brave a smile while closing my eyes.

***

I can see him, hugging my lifeless body close to his chests, crying on 
my head. Although I don’t feel the grief and pain I felt before 
leaving, I am pained for the distress I caused him. I long to touch 
him, to tell him that everything will be all right but I don’t know if 
I can. I walk to him, avoiding looking at my pale face under his chin 
and caress his cheek. To my surprise he looked right at me. I can see 
in his eyes that he could not see me, but he knows that I am here.

“Gar estel anna n i Elenath sila, ir gil galad sila goref. Arad o nain 
or. Estel ath tol ned le!” I whisper into his ear.

“Im gar al Estel!” he whispers back, breaking my heart for the second 
time.

“le ath!” I choke out, “Gwend na hae ath on i gurth.”

“Dartha ah enni Legolas, car al nor!”

I only wish he could see my tears as I kiss his forehead “Im gar ned! 
I Elenath can nin. Cuinar ehtele min mellon! Namarie Aragorn, im ath 
gar te ned rin!” But I could not bring myself to leave his side, so I 
merely sit here, watching him hold my lifeless and pale body in his 
arms.

“Gilgalad bain a faen,

Talt moe am la thir

Aglared awarth

An panna nin ereb nain.

Legolas Evellon, Elenath sail erin le! Gar sidh nin mellon!”

His words haunt me as I watch. He holds me long into the early hours 
of morning, crying and shaking while occasionally he says something in 
my language. He is begging me to return to him, and I would now, with 
all my heart I want to. But what is done cannot be undone, especially 
when it comes to life or death.

I hear a noise approaching from the east and look up to see Gimli 
looking for Aragorn and I. The look on his face is so hard to bear, so 
hard that I finally find my strength and turn towards the stars, 
leaving one last promise hanging in the wind.

“Gil galad sila goref, Estel na tol! Im ath beria le a heb nin bend!”

The end

******* In English *******

“Have hope as long as the stars shine, A stars light will shine 
through. Days of tears will soon be over. Hope will come to you!” I 
whisper into his ear.

“I have no hope!” he whispers back, breaking my heart for the second 
time.

“You will!” I choke out, “Friendship is far beyond death.”

“Stay with me Legolas, do not go!”

I only wish he could see my tears as I kiss his forehead “I have to! 
The stars call me live well my friend! Farewell Aragorn, I will hole 
you in remembrance!” But I could not bring myself to leave his side, 
so I merely sit here, watching him hold my lifeless and pale body in 
his arms.

“Starlight fair and radiant,

Falling soft upon your face

Glorious abandonment

To fill my lonely tears.

Legolas dare friend, Stars shine on you! Have peace my friend!”

His words haunt me as I watch. He holds me long into the early hours 
of morning, crying and shaking; occasionally he says something in my 
language. He is begging me to return to him, and I would now, with all 
my heart I want to. But what is done cannot be undone, especially when 
it comes to life or death.

I hear a noise approaching from the east and look up to see Gimli 
looking for Aragorn and I. The look on his face is so hard to bear, so 
hard that I finally find my strength and turn towards the stars, 
leaving one last promise hanging in the wind.

“A stars light will shine through, hope is coming! I will protect you 
and keep you safe!”



*****  While this is not a song fic, I included the words of 
Hoobastank’s “Losing my Grip” as it was that and Adema’s “Everyone” 
that I was listening to at the time. Hoobastank’s song kinda affected 
the outcome of this story so it is just there as a bit of a reference. 
This chapter is dedicated to Blue Dragoness for your lovely 
complements and Lady V for your constant reviewing. Oh, and to YunaDax 
if you are reading this, hurry up and update your story!!!!!! And I 
e-mailed you about 4 times but they keep coming back saying that your 
account isn’t working. *****



Returning.

***** Another night follows the day Like a child does to its mother 
And everywhere I look I see your face On the face of others And I 
can't escape the pain *****

Darkness. That was all the lone figure could see. No light shone of 
the once golden woods, at least not in his heart. It was empty, 
unfulfilled and darkened with the constant suffering that was always 
there.

He had not stepped foot in these woods for many a year now, always 
fearing what he may find if he did so. It was only by chance that he 
came to be here now, yet another cruel twist of fate, designed to make 
him suffer more.

He had been travelling to Rivendell when a fierce storm blew in from 
the west, from the sea he now hated for no particular reason. Even 
now, in these current years, he remained a man of the land, of the 
wild, capable of anything. Yet this storm had been different, it had 
bothered even him and he soon found that he had to seek shelter in the 
place that he had long vowed never to return to.

If it had been a few yeas earlier, then this weather change would have 
brought a fear to his heart, a fear of dark tidings with ill outcomes. 
Yet times were different now and a simple storm, no matter how violent 
had no effect on him other to make him cold and uncomfortable.

He may have been where he did not want to be, but for some strange 
reason he didn’t feel distressed about it. After all, he could still 
avoid the main place that had haunted every one of his dreams for 
years.

Every night he saw the same dream played out in his head, the same 
emotions rushed from him, and every morning he awoke to find the moist 
trails of tears on his face and small damp patched staining his 
pillow.

He hated it. Hated the feelings that he hid every day, only to have 
them come twice as strong at night and most of all the fact that at 
night, while the moon hung high over the land that no longer held any 
peace for him, he could not hide. No matter what he did, or where he 
went they always hunted him down and when the emotions hit, they stole 
his breath away.

It would start with a lump in his throat, just a small one that could 
be ignored for the time being, but it always got worse. As the moon 
made its way over the arched sky and the stars came out from their 
hiding places the lump would grow bigger. Then came the sick feeling 
in his gut, the thing telling him of what was to soon come to him, of 
the memories that would hit him like a tidal wave and knock him over. 
His face would grow hot and he could tell that he was turning red. The 
thought of not being about to stop what happened to him made it worse, 
and then, soon enough the first tear would fall.

It would twinkle like the stars themselves as it slipped out of the 
corner of his eye and traced down his cheek. But it never fell, as 
every time he angrily wiped it away, begging himself to stop it and 
get it together. But it never worked and soon he shed as many crystal 
clear tears as there were stars in the midnight sky.

Tonight was no different, bar the fact that there were no stars 
visible through the heavy cloud cover that streaked across the sky. 
His tears were no sooner shed before they were blown off his face to 
mix with the large droplets of rain that assaulted his body through 
his thick travelling cloak.

The solitary man made his way through the woods carefully, trying not 
to disturb anything more then necessary. In the gloom he had lost his 
way, and this part of the woods was alien to him, even with all his 
knowledge. He resented himself for allowing himself to get lost, 
especially in these woods. It was very unlike him to loose his way in 
the slightest. He was one of those people that could wake up and 
straight away tell you exactly where he was and who he was with, where 
they had come from and in what direction they were going. It was a 
talent, the gift of direction, of purpose. But his life had lost 
purpose a long time ago now and he feared that it might never return. 
That he would be doomed to live his life to the end of his days 
constantly wondering what could have been and what he should be doing.

Slowly, the rain began to stop, and with much relief he saw that he 
was coming to a nice little clearing. Hopes of finding somewhere to 
rest his weary body and troubled mind, he threw caution to the wind 
and sped up his pace.

In his eagerness to reaching the clearing he failed to notice the 
large tree to the left of him, one of the ones that created the circle 
of the border.

As his footsteps softly padded their way into the small grassy area 
the rain halted completely and the iciness of the air dropped. 
Exhausted, he dropped his pack to the wet ground, glad to be rid of 
it’s weight. It mattered not that the ground was wet, as he and his 
belongings were soaked through as it was so, with a quick look around 
him he prepared to sit down.

But something caught his eye. Something that stood there, twisted into 
a blackened hellish thing of nightmares.

With a gasp, the man jumped back while looking at the tree with 
accusing eyes. It stood there, its leaves swaying in the wind that 
still howled through the woods and mocked him. Taunting him with its 
peaceful yet horrifying movements.

The man squinted his eyes at it, praying that it was not what he saw 
every night, that it was not the menacing shape that grew larger and 
larger in his mind with each passing day. But it was. It was what he 
feared most in this world, what he hated so strongly that it felt like 
a fire burning inside of him.

A quick and futile look around the clearing confirmed his suspicions 
beyond all reasonable doubt, and with a sinking heart he clasped the 
hilt of his sword.

With the cold steel in his hands he felt powerful, unbeatable and in 
control. That was until the dipping and swaying of the tree’s branches 
started to plague his vision and mind.

That swaying…that moving…that life.

A yell of anger escaped his lips and he ran at the tree, sword held 
high above his head. For this one moment, the split second it took his 
to cross the clearing to the tree it was just him. Everything left his 
mind, everything melted away from his memory and sight. All he could 
see was this one tree and the only thing he felt was the pain that it 
had caused him.

He swung his arms back and let the blow follow through with all the 
strength he could muster. Bits of bark flew off to hit his face and 
arms as he struck the thick trunk time and time again. With each and 
every hit, each time the sword bit into the flesh of the tree he felt 
better, and for the first time in over five years he felt as if he 
could go on. As if through the sap that seeped from the wounded tree 
it granted him life and above all hope.

He knew not how long he stood there, battling with the defenseless 
tree, but all too soon for his liking his arms grew weary and it 
became harder and harder to lift his sword. His face was covered in a 
mixture of tears, sap and fragments of bark while his hair held most 
of the same substances.

Slowly while breathing hard he sunk to his knees on the ground, his 
head spinning with mixed emotions and his body feeling frail and weak.

He looked at his hands, still gripping the sword so tightly that his 
knuckles had turned white from the lack of blood pumping through them. 
Sap covered them thickly, as well as something else, something red.

Blood.

Quickly he cast the sword away as if it were a poisonous arrow. His 
hands were lacerated with cuts and bits of splintered wood stuck out 
of his palms and fingers. Even now as he looked he felt no pain from 
the wounds only pain in his heart.

Sliding to his side, he hugged himself, willing everything to go away 
and to leave him alone. But it did no good, and no matter how much he 
tried, the world still turned, and his heart still beat.

“Aragorn?” he heard a soft voice call his name. Slightly puzzled, he 
lifted his head, wondering who could have possible found him and what 
they wanted.

At first he could see nothing as tears clouded his eyes, much like 
sleep did to those of an Elf. But slowly they cleared, and he was able 
to focus on the tall being standing just above him.

“Aragorn,” it was more of a statement than anything, the voice was 
filled with pain and grief and the figure quickly knelt down to look 
at the human still lying on the ground.

Aragorn looked at the form in front of him and as it lent forward a 
familiar smell filled his nostrils. The faint smell of newly blooming 
honey-suckles. Something about the way this stranger held himself 
pulled at Aragorn’s heart and as he gently yet sadly spoke his name 
again, Aragorn bit his lip in hope and wonder.

“Legolas?” he whispered softly while peering into the face that was 
glowing slightly with the usual Elven glow. Hope sailed in his heart, 
and yet, there was a pause from the stranger’s part, making the man 
fear the Elf’s reply.

Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, the being before him 
spoke softly while reaching out a hand and tracing the man’s cheek. 
“It is I, Aragorn. It is I.”

Aragorn’s breath caught in his throat. Questions of how and why ran 
through his head, but he pushed them down. All he wanted to think of 
was that his dearest friend had returned. He went to open his mouth to 
express his joy and confusion, but the Elf beat him to it.

“Oh Aragorn, what has happened to you, my friend?” Legolas asked 
gently and softly, while still keeping contact with the man’s face.

The words, while sounding so innocent held a deeper meaning to them, 
and only in his eyes could this be strongly reflected. Legolas still 
held the look of one of someone young and naive, but his eyes, his 
eyes told his soul and his wisdom.

Aragorn knew that the Elf was taking of more than just his bleed hands 
or his current state, but somehow the words caught in his throat and 
could not be forced over his tongue. He merely reached up and grasped 
Legolas’s hand with his own, holding it as if it were his only 
possession.

“How are you here?” he finally asked after a long minutes silence. 
“How did you come back?”

Again he saw the sadness in Legolas’s eyes even though the Elf’s 
impassive mask hid all other emotion from his face. It was at that 
point that Aragorn understood, he understood everything.

“I have not returned, Aragorn. I can not and you know that. But I can 
come to offer advice and counseling.” Legolas bit his bottom lip, and 
for only the second time in his once long life, he found it to be 
quivering.

“I – “ Aragorn started to speak but was soon silenced by a quick shake 
of Legolas’ s blonde head.

“Aragorn, I know it is hard. Vala knows that there is not a day that 
goes by where I wish that I could change what was, but it is beyond 
both of us. You must understand that.”

“I do, bu-“

“Shh! Let me speak, Estel.” Legolas interjected, using Aragorn’s Elven 
name, the one of hope, the one meaning hope. “Estel, I need you to 
think back to that day, remember my words.” Legolas pleaded with the 
human that had now sat up to look at him more closely. “I made you 
promise me something, Estel, what was it?”

Aragorn didn’t even have to think as the memory was clearly etched in 
his mind. “You bid me promise you to lead the fellowship on, and to 
find the hope that you could not. Legolas, I don’t see what this has 
to do with anything.”

“EVERYTHING!” Legolas cried, “it has to do with everything. I need you 
to keep that promise Aragorn.”

“I did, Legolas, I did. I lead them on, we destroyed Sauron and the 
Ring. I did keep it Legolas!” Aragorn felt fear build inside of him, 
yet he didn’t rightfully know why. Maybe it was the fact that he felt 
that somehow Legolas was disappointed in him, that he had failed but 
he could see no way in which he had.

“I know Estel, but what about the latter? What of the other part of 
that promise?” Legolas pushed that man into remembering. The Elf knew 
it must be hard for his friend, but I had to be done. He had left it 
too late in trying to help him, and now because of that he had to make 
him remember, no matter what the costs.

“I – I don’t know what you mean.” Frustration built up in the man’s 
heart. All he wanted to do was to talk to his lost friend, to be near 
him, to hear him laugh as they once did in childhood, but Legolas 
would not let him, and continued to push him for answers he did not 
know.

“You promised me that you would find hope, Aragorn, that you would be 
able to be strong and that somehow, just somehow you would go on. Know 
that I hold you to that promise.”

“How can I find hope when I have nothing?”

“Aragorn, look around you. You are the king of Gondor, you united the 
lands after they were in such turmoil. You have everything and yet you 
hide yourself away from the world, wishing it to all go away, to leave 
you alone. That is not hope, Estel! And that is how you broke your 
promise.”

Legolas peered into Aragorn’s eyes, hoping that he had gotten through 
to the man. He could see the sadness in his eyes and Legolas knew that 
he had, that Aragorn knew of what he was speaking of. “Aragorn, your 
people need you, please, please heed my words for I speak of only 
truth and only in the hopes of helping you. Do you fathom my meaning?”

“I do. It’s just – it’s just hard. I miss you my friend.”

“As I do you. But you can not let me make you like this. It is like 
you dies that day with me,”

“I think I did.” The man retorted seriously, much to Legolas’s dismay.

“No you did not! You lived on, Estel, and you still do, it’s time that 
you accepted what happened and move on,” a slight laugh escaped the 
Elf’s lips even though a tear trailed down his face, “I mean, look 
what you did to the tree.”

Aragorn also laughed despite himself while looking over his shoulder 
at his handy work. There was a large hole in the side of the trunk, 
and for many centimeters around the hole the trunk was stripped of its 
bark.

“You do realize that under any other circumstances you’d be in trouble 
with me for doing something like that, don’t you?” Legolas questioned 
his friend, who simply nodded, a small smile displayed on his face.

The two friends sat there for a moments longer, until finally Legolas 
broke the silence. “Aragorn,” he said and then paused, knowing that 
the words he was about to say would break both their hearts, “I have 
to leave now.”

“NO!” Aragorn shot back quickly and grabbing hold of the Elf’s arm 
tightly, but Legolas shook it off.

“Please don’t make this harder that it already is?” Legolas almost 
begged, before slowly rising. “Remember your promise this time 
Aragorn, son of Arathorn.” And with that he slowly turned and walked 
back into the cover of the trees, not once looking back for the fear 
of the expression on Aragorn’s face. Yet he left one last promise of 
his own, the same one he left five years ago to the ears of Aragorn 
and Gimli; “Gil galad sila goref, Estel na tol! Im ath beria le a heb 
nin bend!” [“A stars light will shine through, hope is coming! I will 
protect you and keep you safe!”]

Aragorn sat there stunned into silence as his best friend walked away 
and disappeared. He knew it was a sight that he would never forget no 
matter how long he lived. With down cast eyes that still wept he 
silently vowed to keep his promise this time, he would not forsake the 
memory of his friend again.

With a new appreciation, he turned his head to the sky to find the 
clouds drifting away to reveal the soft purple glow of the approaching 
dawn. Careful of the wounds on his hands, Aragorn climbed the tree 
that he had attacked so viciously the night before and sat on one of 
the highest branches, peacefully awaiting the sun to rise to mark the 
dawning of a brand new day.

*****

I feel an emptiness inside A part of me already died But I pretend 
that you go on Like everything's okay Then all we've built began to 
fall As I began to lose it all Shut my eyes to set me free.

*****

The end